Asking Too Much
by MoveToTheCold
Summary: Edward had morals and honey-sweet eyes. His hands were always filled with gifts: roses, keys, answers, books, praise. He was a vampire of impossible delusions. Said I was large; of heavens and stars. Swore he would marry me, even if I couldn't change. Even if my red wine eyes never changed. Evil VampBella x Good VampWard.
1. Preface

**Please enjoy. Here is my attempt at an Evil Vamp Bella story. Rated M for Lemons, violence, newborns, veterans - whatever the game is, these vamps are playing it. Even some baseball. Slightly AU x CANNON PAIRS x OTP x FLUFF**

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 _ **Preface**_

On the balcony overlooking the concrete jungle, the excitement of the crowds made a cohesive buzz of music. A quartet of violins sang a bitter, flat song that coasted folks along. The sun-buttered brick roads were littered with cracks and garbage. I leaned onto the railing. A glimpse of skin peaked from the silk robe and the beam of light shimmer on me.

On ground level, I focused in on a child who was crying for his mother. His father scolded him for something petty. A young couple bumped against them. An older women squeezed her way to a merchant's cart. They were selling sun hats weaved from grass. Humans could profit from anything. Such bastards, such selfish meat sacks. A hoard of teenagers nearby were smoking and skateboarding against the fountain. A guard rushed after them.

It was controlled chaos. This was Aro's favorite game of chess to play. He, Alec, and Jane were laughing as the guard caught up and escorted the humans toward our castle doors.

"I call the female," Jane claimed.

"Not a very fair chance for the rest of us, eh?" Alec argued. The cluster of them were several floors underneath me, hiding under the alley of pillars. Their robes masked them as shadows to the world. He glanced up and met my eyes. They were sunken and deep. Hunger pulsed in the twitch of his smile as he waved.

I nodded in return. Jane followed the guard inside, causing both men to chuckle. She was certainly the most irritable and impatient. Her twin was a close second.

"Mama! Una regina!" a child in the crowd shouted. Their mother looked up and cupped their pointed hand in her own.

They were both staring at me. She bounced the child on her hip, cradling her close.

"Quella è una statua," she corrected her, lingering an uncertain gaze on me, trying to believe her own words. It must have clicked, as she turned to talk to her husband. The little girl was staring and drawing shapes at my direction. Her eyelashes damp with tears and sweat. I noticed the roast on her flesh. She would be well burnt by tomorrow. Skin red and irritated and fragile. I caste a hand into the open wind and waved at her.

A loud scream exploded from the crowd and I held my lungs stiff. A set of fireworks breathed into the sky and tussled the crowd crazy. I wasn't sure who was in charge of the event. Humans usually played with fire when the moon was high in the sky and the darkness was over their heads. It was an odd choice I believed, and the commotion was irritating. They were so careless and obtrusive. I found that I didn't care for the mindless way humans carried themselves. They acted on impulse and were often careless. I brushed the wrinkles from the robe and turned my way back inside.

I ran down the stairs the winded down the tower for ages before I made it to the main lobby. It was polished and inviting for these festivals. The Volturi even wired phones and computers as a registry in the last decade. Humans proved to be calmer with familiar surroundings. They made less of a fuss when our guards hauled them in and gave tours.

A flash of light blazed in my direction. I snapped my head over and saw a sweaty woman draped in chiffon gawking at me, checking her camera for the shot. My nostrils flared as the scent of our guests burned and fogged with the candles dripping in the lights above.

"Excuse me, there no pictures allowed beyond the front doors!" Heidi, the alluring secretary that Aro had collected for their coven, jumped up from her desk. "Give me that camera."

The tourist's flabby chin wiggled under her gaping jaw. "Nah, mate! You can't take my stuff."

Even more human than most of us, Heidi was fierce. I was fond of her personality. Brash, courageous, and unyielding. She was very tall for a woman, towering over the round lady.

Her heels clicked against the bricks and I watched closely.

"Delete the photograph and hand over the camera."

Heads were turning and a rain of silence poured in the room.

"You can't talk to me like that," she argued. Her accent was very prominent, more than likely born and raised in South Wales.

"This is your last warning. Hand over the camera."

"It's my property. I'd like to see you try."

Heidi tore the strap from her neck. It was like cutting the bindings from a pork roast. She turned to the guard and nodded. The lady started screaming. She wailed about how we caused the worst vacation she'd ever been on. I lapped each tooth with the indent between my tongue. I could hear her heartbeat thud as the anger flavored her flesh like a boiled apple.

"Come, now," I stepped forward. The crowd tensed, and Heidi stepped back. The camera was clenched in her eggplant manicured grip. "It can't be that bad. I tend to think Italy is the most beautiful place on Earth... well, top three."

Jane came around the corner with her brother. My fingers tickled the hem of my hood as I draped it on shoulders. Marcus, Caius, and Aro followed in suit, coming out from the shade and letting the chandelier candles flicker against their translucent faces.

We were going to have some fun earlier than expected.

"You're..." the large lady shuddered. It was almost funny to watch her thick knees twitch under the pressure.

"I'm _what?_ "

She shook her head. "Get away from me. I'm leaving!"

I inched closer, "Why do you want to part from us so soon? The tour has barely even begun."

"Because you're a bunch of _freaks_."

Heidi seethed, "You will watch the way you address your superiors."

"Ain't anybody here a superior of mine. This is the worst service I've ever been delt!"

"Would you like a proper picture?" I flashed my teeth at her and motioned for Heidi to hand over the device.

Aro approached my side and held his hands in the air. Every breath was iced over. It was rare that any of us came into the lobby. We liked to keep it clean. It made cycling through the feedings quicker. Aro smiled, full teeth bared at me. "Rather hungry today, Isabella?"

I rubbed my shoulder and cupped my other hand on the woman's overripe tomato chin. She cringed at my touch but I held tight. "I must be."

He turned to the crowd. No one made a move. He approached the woman with a sick grin, a slimy drool of venom dropping, sizzling on her clothes. "Sorry to cause you such a fuss, we mean no harm."

She made a reach to snatch her camera back, but Aro beat her to it and tore the chunk of plastic in half with me.

Heidi swore and motioned for the guards. We were going to have an early meal, indeed.

"I want to leave," she bellowed like a sick elk. "Why are they shutting us in?"

A man from the audience gaped and held his wife. "Why are they locking the doors?"

A thin whimper cried out from an elderly woman and perfumed the air in her fear. Aro met my gaze. He gave a nod and I took a sick moment of satisfaction in seeing most eyes overflowing with tears before icing the few of us immortals in my shield. Jane marched to the front.

"Pain," she whispered. Bodies hit the floor at different notes, playing the room like a xylophone. I twisted my back and stretched my jaw wide like a black widow. I admired my reflection in the midnight of my prey's pupils. Her veins coiled like snakes in the her throat and grew taunt. I considered tearing her apart slowly, like eating an orange and pealing her skin from the bones. Or plucking her vessels out from thickest to thin and arranging them on a harp.

"Don't play with your food," Marcus chuckled.

I offered him a knowing smirk before I launched myself at her, the rest of the coven following in suit. Panicked shrills bounced on the marble and sent shivers into my teeth as I sank them viciously into her jowls. Her beefy hands struggled against my cheeks and lathered me in her secondhand sweat. Each second I stayed latched, I took joy in the tightening of her skin. My adrenaline made each gulp more erratic. With her skin paling as oxygen drained from her lungs, I laughed and choked on her life. She threw fists into my face and shoulders. My fingers crawled up her cheeks. I stole an enormous drink of her and it overflowed, a set of warm rivers waterfalling down my cheeks. The ooze colored my chin and dripped back to her chest.

Her final punch froze mid air and died where it started. Her blood grew sour as I drank from her furthest depths. She was nearly pruned when I had the control to drop her on the floor and watch her break like a Christmas ornament on the marble. She was uglier in death. The sweat was waterlogged in her hairline and I used the sole of my boot to roll her over. When I was younger I wouldn't have, but age lost the joy of looking at their hanging jaws and popped eyes when they died.

Her blood was curdling on my chin, chilling where the weight of the drops clenched heaviest. They dribbled down my collar bones and used them like sewer pipes. I saw Heidi watching us from behind a glass door. Her aroma was lively. It reminded me of Brazil, like a jaguar after a rain storm. A ripe lily heated in the summer. Aro was lucky to have staked his claim on her loyalty.

A swift kick itched against my ankle.

I grabbed the human leg, snapping it off like a square of chocolate. It squirmed on the floor, followed by his screaming pleas. He looked like a slug after the rain. I slammed him into a pillar and brought him to my height. His skin was beautiful for a human, dark from both his heritage and the sun, freckled in small pores with no scars. It was almost a shame that he would go to waste. He probably had a family waiting for him back in South America. This had likely his first vacation as a legal adult. So innocent and eager to explore the world. I shook my head and clenched his square jaw.

"Don't be afraid," I smiled. He flinched and spat at me. "The field mice will enjoy your corpse."

His sandal flew off as he kicked me with his remaining leg. It was like a baby pawing me. His veins quivered as I clamped my fingers tighter. I stretched his skin taunt, licking the spot where his pulse hit hardest. He smacked my head and beat me with the end of his palms. My hair flew in a frenzy under his blows. I sawed my teeth through his shoulder. He was earthy and hot. So delicate and juicy. I kept my eyes open, glued on his fingernails. I wanted to see the beds glow white. I wanted the moons to disappear and reflect his now dead heartbeat.

All the lively richness dissolved from his limbs as I milked his blood in key with every breath. His skin eventually sagged into his bones like a wet napkin. Empty.

It took several calming thoughts for my jaw to unhinge and leave his angry embrace. He fell like an hollow vase to the floor, sitting against the stone. I chuckled at the thought of leaving him like that, as if he could watch the sunset tonight and go back to his hotel room with achy limbs and cracking knee caps.

Three bodies later, I left my last meal half full and garnished with a broken neck. I yanked her by the hair into my pile.

"What a mess."

I lifted a brow at Alec, "Oh?"

He pointed to his own chin in mockery. "You've got a bit of something."

I swiped my forearm across my doused chin. Aro threw his last corpse to the floor and joined us. "Red is your color, my dear."

The others laughed and I winked before making my way to the closest door. "You're not going to make your lovely Heidi clean up this time, are you?"

"Certainly not. It's a holiday for everyone, is it not?"

Marcus and Caius yelled for the guards to haul the bodies into the basement and we all headed to the throne room. It was a short run to the elevator as we packed. Jane nudged my elbow with hers, "Did she at least taste good?"

"Hardly," I growled. "Like drinking blood from a sea monster." The elevator dinged. "How about the Russian girl? Was she worth dibs?"

She flashed her brilliant teeth and the beautiful burgundy blood stained her gums, outlined by the rim of her lips. "Delicious."

"I hear humans who live in colder climates taste better. It makes their blood fresher," Alec hung his robe up on to hooks greeting the entrance and dusted off his shirt.

"Like iced tea," Jane joked.

"Maybe we can test those theories," Marcus traded his robe for a fresh one. "Aro seems to agree with you."

"I do," he chimed in. "There are Eskimos in the Western Hemisphere who are fantastic hunting if you're ever in the area."

They continued back and forth and I shimmied my robe off, bunching it up to wipe off the blood on my throat. My reflection glared back in the stain glass window. I was filthy. I cringed at the sea of knots my hair sat on. "What a mess."

Caius turned to me, "You let them squirm today, Isabella."

"I like to have a show with dinner."

"Their blood is becoming on you."

"You're going to make me blush," I shook my head. "I didn't even count the damage this time."

His gaze wandered up to the ceiling and traced the artwork with his eyes. "It was a quaint party. Ninteen guests."

"Will you be having seconds?"

He nodded, "Certainly. It is the last festival of the season. Are you saying you won't be?"

The sloshing in my stomach felt like honey stuck in my muscles. "Unless you find a singer, I don't think I could fit in another drop."

A thick chortle heaved from his chest. Marcus called his name and he ended our talk with a curt bow. This was the dizzy and the dancing after a glutenous hunt. Jane and Alec marched to meet another human - one I knew they wouldn't be keeping - and played mind games on her. They were so young in body and soul, I was not sure they'd ever develop a leadership in the Volturi. No doubt that I hoped differently, however. Each had their own remarkable talent that could surpass most in the vampire race.

Aro, Marcus, and Caius stole spots on their thrones and happily found trinkets to gossip about. Aro was holding his his newest piece in a ray of sunlight. A broach from an Egyptian corpse that he extracted from a newly dug up catacomb. The gorgeous gems spoke rainbows into the light and the men were caught in awe.

There wasn't a flicker in me that sparked interest in relating to their fascination. Relics of human creation didn't appeal to me. Their useless baubles and unnecessary attachment to items left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. I knew Aro well, though. After decades of joining his company in festivities and completing missions, we had a great understanding for each other's lifestyles.

"Aro, I regret that I must make my departure at this time," I approached the triplet thrones and smiled at the number of times I had dismissed myself from their company.

His large lizard eyes traced me and his smile was no longer a crest, but a full gaping moon. "Oh, but my Isabella! You haven't had a chance to dine with Sulpicia. She will be greatly saddened to have missed you this time around."

I dipped my hand into the belly of my pockets and fished out my apology for them. "I regret it as well, my friends," I frowned. "But please, take my newest catch as a token of gratitude for the hospitality."

His hands shook like wild tree branches in a tornado. Caius rolled a wonderfully pale strand of blonde hair, as Marcus' ancient sculptured features stretched beyond it's stone in amazement. Aro's hands gripped my wrists.

"Are you afraid to touch it?" I teased.

He sang a shriek into a full fit of laughter that lavished into a crescendo from the ceiling. It bounced around and echoed against the blood swishing around in his gut. I flipped the creature between the knuckles of my forefingers and held it by the tail. It struck me that I probably resembled a sports car, the sleek and hard metal of my skin adamantly displaying the most notorious feline front and center. This was no ordinary utensil, even I knew that.

"Isabella, I am jealous of my beautiful mate!" He giggled. I wondered if he would snap out of his childish state soon enough for me to leave by dusk. "You play a hard game, that's for sure. Once, she and I visited the castle in Europe. Only once, how odd," he murmured to himself. "Yes, how odd. Yes, I think I should plan another honeymoon for my beloved. She will be eternally in debt for such a treasure. What a blessing!"

His curiosity won the race of time in moments as he snatched the bracelet from my grip. He twisted it around so the diamonds could sparkle against the ribbons of light the a prism of shades that the glass cut in the room.

"Incredible, by all accounts. How you conned the humans, I do not wish to know, you vixen. The power you hold, oh goodness. Greater men than I have had no such luck in being bestowed such an prize. You went on a scavenger hunt," he swung around.

Jane shoved her twin out of the way and sped next to Aro's side. "I've never seen the Diamond Panther bracelet in person. Not in any of my lifetimes."

"It's spectacular, isn't it?" Aro gusted weightlessly around the room. Each vampire examined the jewelry and I took a half step back as Aro drew his way to our shared stair. My heels teetered on the edge, the marble eating into the soles of the boots. "I knew I smelled a hint of The Windsor Duchess on your presence this week. You're very good at keeping secrets. You spoil us so."

"A small price to pay," my hands snaked into the sleeves of my opposite arms. "Enjoy it. Let it be an invitation for Suplicia to visit me the next time she finds herself in Greece."

"A challenge we most certainly will be accepting," his long nose curved into the enormity of his grin. "However, Isabella..."

"Aro, save your breath." Alec groaned.

"Not again," Caius rolled his eyes.

"Isabella..."

He slid the exquisite bracelet into the breast pocket of his velvet vest. I took ten steps backwards and saw Jane roll her large, murky doe eyes, and Alec cover his mouth to avoid the rattling laughs from escaping.

"Thank you, Aro. As delightful and honoring your offer will be... once again, I regretfully decline, but only on my incredibly selfish behalf."

His liver-tinted lips pressed firmly. "Maybe next time then, Isabella."

"Maybe next time," the words ghosted from the lingering smile I had at the end of every journey I made to Volterra. "Tell Athenodora I greatly missed her presence this time around, Caius."

"As she has, yours," he politely waved.

Jane and Alec bowed at the same time and I reflected their condolences. Another squeal from Aro erupted with the hard thud of the elevator sealing our goodbyes. A flash into the lobby, where mops were erasing our adventure from only minutes ago, and Heidi turned from berating a different employee to greet me. I didn't exchange a word or meet her wondrous red eyes as they followed my escape into the fresh air. Two guards at the entrance stayed silent as boulders on the mountain top as they thrust the bulky doors open and guided me out.

My boot clicked against the stairwell, rusted from centuries of storms and walks, and I sailed into the beckoning sky. A single roof tile crumbled in half as I landed three buildings over. I stayed perched like a gargoyle to let the final drop of Italian summer bake into my memory.

The year was lackluster. No wild chases or blood baths with marathons of humans running for their lives. No useful memories that I would check back on to enjoy. There was now only the stench of wheat and tomatoes, basil and oregano lush in the gardens, and creme that melted from their sweet dough casings. After a month of collecting human recipe books, I found that I leaned towards the descriptions of Italian cuisine. Though, I was sure a biased edge buried thick in the forest of my never regarded human past posed judgement on that decision. Rarely did I bid an ode to the lost human puzzle of my birth.

To be human was to be an ink blot in time's bible. To be human combed itself into details like _delicate, soft, temporary,_ and _gullible_.

I patted the roof goodbye and headed eastbound.

I was fond of solitude in the last dozen seasons. Or had it been a dozen decades? The finer details melted together. There wasn't anyone to blame but my own unwillingness to launch away from the mouths of the oceans or the beckoning cheeks of mountains or dandelions of forests.

A hard thud popped in natural surrounds as I pounced at the base of a tree. I hitched each of my limbs on and hugged it before crawling like a demented rodent to the top. It split through the canopy and overlooked a river that ran into the mouth of a lake that was twenty, maybe twenty-three miles out. That was the trail I followed every year as I drew to and from Italy. No humanity staked its claim in the twenty-seven million acres of the forests of Italy. I explored every meter eighteen years ago. Athenodora was close to convincing me to purchase my own square of land so we could be neighbors. Despite my dedication and loyalty to her, alongside Suplicia, I couldn't sacrifice the privacy.

She compared me to a bear. Both woman found comedy in my extensive effort I put in to be left alone. A lifestyle I found suited my nature.

I swung the tip of the tree to give me enough push as I bounced to the next. Miles descended down the drain. A flock of Starlings used the sky as their host. They danced like a sandstorm with the wind, guiding the directions their bodies dragged in. Seventy feet to the base, a family of foxes tapped their way to a den. Their babies sneaked in first, followed by the female, and a final protective glance before the male disappeared as well.

The branch snapped under my footing and I lurched forward and carried on. Traveling by foot in nature was hardly glorious in it's own manner. There was the layer of pride that had to be pealed like a scab to reveal the a barbaric instincts it took. Insects splattered in almost ever crevice and nook of my body, even in the kiss of my nostrils and waterline of my eyes. Venom burned them away there, but that didn't stop the collection from crusting haphazardly every where else.

Occasionally, the unlucky bird or rodent found its corpse stuck to my foot. Luxury wasn't the friend of the wild. A nest of eggs crushed under my weight when I pounced on all fours in a forest buried deep in Iceland once. The smell of death, coupled with crumpling it's angry mother into a moth ball, taught me to use the tallest perches of trees for jumping.

Once I landed on the lake's mouth, I used the chance to swim and clear the gunk that built itself on me. The sun was cutting into the Earth and animals descended into their homes. The water dulled and reflected noise off from me, so I hummed Clair De Lune in a loop in order to keep track of time.

The moon and sun traded places three times before I faded to a halt under the shores of Ithaca.

My dead heart slithered against the walls of my shoulders, making it's new home in the constraints of my throat. Salt and ash blackened it's perimeter in a halo of scum from the active hot springs gurgling in the mud. My skin was pasted in murk. It made me nauseous and uncomfortable. I clapped hard against the water and made it to the air in a minute. I hunted like an alligator with only the round of my head splitting the surface and my bottom eyelashes sitting like mosquitoes on the ripples.

I welcomed myself home.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you to all of the reviews, alerts, views, and favorites. I hope everyone enjoys.**

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 **Chapter 1**

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A fuzzy bee hummed a meter from the pages of my book. I whistled a cool breath to shoo it away and it whisked off towards the garden to reunite with it's family. August had begun yesterday and a hive of them had woven a home under the stack of wicker baskets I'd forgotten about in the shed. They were my little gardeners. Along with the ladybird spiders who liked to bounce off the bougainvillea bouquets and drink from the fountain of my very own David statue. They were my tiny crew of summer guests.

The grass was braiding it's way between the faded brick walkway. I stood and laid Emily Bronte on the patio cushion. I sneaked around to the back to check on the columbines that were closest to the manor. A curious thing, I noted, as to why the columbines were growing like weeds this time around. Each blue bud twisted in chaos like thin serpents that all seemed intent on strangling anything around them. The bordering of the tangled flowers was a beautiful barbwire that had the essence of being able to secure my home. I curled one of the fragile stems around my ring finger, bringing it to my face to catch its faint fragrance of bitter nectar.

The gardens were immense on the west coast of my property. After I passed the main fountain, the path turned woodsy; though a lick of bark didn't touch the area for another acre or so. The aroma and delicacy of colors made it my own fairy tale. People could get married here, I mused, for it was the only bid at the compassion I think I possessed deep down. Being able to create something so beautiful and otherworldly. Romantic, and a little mysterious, especially when the moon was out like it was last night, throwing deep shadows that lovers could hide in.

In the height of the day, it felt like walking through a swimming pool in the middle of summer from the clamminess. A glimmer of millions of mirrors was shining from my exposed skin. It seemed like forty meters out, I kept noticing the flowers that were past their prime, dying, sunburned and withered from the lack of rainfall. There was nothing worse than the smell of rotting roses - it was of disappointment and arrogance.

Collecting tools, a pair of gloves, and enough water to work with, I went to the meadow. Being amidst my garden, birthing and fostering the fields, nurtured a guilty pleasure that I ate up. In the seemingly-boundless countryside, I was able to prove that I had a life. I could create from the smallest, ugliest seeds. Even if the roses in my forest were not doing so well.

The thorns caught on the thick tan gloves. Dead petals crumbled into powder at my touch. Roses should not be dying in the midst of summertime - it was simply unheard of. Every year my roses were becoming weaker. At first I assumed that maybe it was the land's fault. Then my own. This year I came to the conclusion that it was the roses themselves that were finicky.

"Why do I need these roses, anyway?" I muttered, pulling out a group of brown stems. I reached a hand inside of the flower bush and tugged at the plants, but the flimsy glove stayed latched to the barbwire beauties. Quick like a band aid, I took and calm breath and swiped my hand out as swiftly as I could to not disrupt the brush more.

I continued to try and shove my bare hands in the dead tangles, hoping for the best as I salvaged the few buds that cried for space and food. The rest of the roses would have to go. I knew well enough that it is useless to mope and complain and revive the dead.

"Ms. Swan!"

A flower snapped and died in the dirt. I stood up straight and watched the man wave his hat.

Panic burned the wires in my brain quickly as I looked down at my bare arms. Why was a human invading my land? I seethed.

My exposed skin was glistening in the daylight, and I struggled to find a peaceful solution between my flesh and the man. Nearly seven times I rounded different theories to give him.

I could see the confusion flush in my mailman's dark complexion. The envelopes piled in his grip fluttered to the flowers.

"Devil," his Greek tongue faltered, jaw quivering.

I crouched on all fours to give me leverage and ran. In order to protect the pristine rows of my creations, I leaped to a fountain and swung with a fury. My feet launched and slammed into his fragile chest. The air snapped from his lungs and a whimper fell out and into my soil, where a cough of bloody saliva and mucus followed.

"You shouldn't have come here," I slapped his hairy cheek as if to burp him. "I've told you before. Haven't I?"

Nothing.

" _Haven't I?!_ " I dug into the tube of bones that barreled in his throat and lifted him to my hips. "How many times do I have to _warn you people_?"

His nails desperately scratched at my arm as I marched us to the shoreline of the sea that surrounded my island. His boat was creased into the soaked sand, rocking gently against the waves. His blood filling the air, aged and potent. I look down to see that he was going so roughly at my skin that his nails had torn down and blistered his fingertips off. With my free hand, I bent his wrist back until it crackled like kernels of corn and wiggled like a jellyfish on shore. Erupting with spit and blood, he frothed like a volcano in anger. His yellowed eyes bulged and I yanked his arm to my teeth while holding his head barely under the water. Just enough so oxygen was no longer an option, but his final line of sight would be my unrelenting eyes.

"Tell your God," I murmured.

My teeth shaved back his hide and I indulged in the bounty of his blood. His legs kicked, begging for mercy. The terror and screams of air bubbled and bounced like bullets at the waters surface. I kept my eyes on his as long as I could until the desire made the twitching unbearable. I shut my lids hard, annoyed with my breathing, and stuck to guzzling the last of his life away.

My teeth throbbed and chattered when nothing more met my tongue, but my urge to keep going sped on. One of his veins snapped and whipped my tongue and I balked. The texture of a warm organ slithering against my tongue was enough to have me unlatch and fall backwards. I hit the wet sand with a frightened thud and stayed there, panting and shocked from disgust, while his remains bobbed in the kiss of the shoreline. I didn't remember what it was like to accidentally swallow a human's vein, it had been so long. I was mortified. The feeling of his hot, soggy, organ violating my taste buds stewed inside me. I heaved and gagged. I punched my throat and flipped onto all fours. Each cough and hack did nothing but let it squirm up and down my stomach. I could feel it swimming around.

I retched eight more times. I was sure I looked like a house cat ridding itself of a hairball.

When I felt it was coughed up close enough, I reached my fist as far back as my jaw would let it slide in, and had to yank it out of the back of my throat. I gagged hard and it resurfaced back on my tongue and wiggled in the air. A foot long vein twitched like a bloodied worm in the beach air. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself.

"Christ," I gagged.

I rolled back over to the dead mailman and tied it to his wrist like a rosary.

I kicked his sailboat as hard as I could back out to sea, towards to coast of the main land. Then, with his sad, disgusting eyes dead and wide, drying in the air, I shut them and carried him as a backpack back to my garden.

I dug with my fingers and nails until a deep enough grave fit his body, and I laid him to rest with my roses.

Maybe now they would bloom.

The evening did not turn out how I wanted it to. I was planning on finishing Wuthering Heights in it's Latin edition. The book was still warming my seat on the patio when I made my way up the steps and hugged it to my armpit before locking myself inside. I hadn't left home since my hunting trip in July, where I visited a museum in Athens and collected a group of Spanish tourists.

I had warned that mailman to never stop by my house again. I had begged him to, twice. As a result, he was being put to good use as fertilizer.

To the west of my living room, I threw my novel onto my office desk and ventured up the stairwell. The tiles gritted against my bare feet that were caked in mud and blood. Balancing on the last step, I looked over the filthy trail I led throughout the house and scowled. Another chore to my night.

Exiting the hallway and brushing beyond the double doors, I curled the ruined clothes off myself and whipped them out the open window, straight into the dumpster across the drive. I waltz into the on suite and spent most of my time watering the potted plants inside as the shower heated up. I enjoyed the feeling of warm marble breathing steam into me.

In the shower, I remained painstakingly aware of the blood as the drain swallowed it whole. I sat in the water until the heat gave out and only the fog of cold air iced the shower. My mind swelled with a headache. Sitting upright on shower wall and resting my chin on my drawn knees, I scowled at the patterned tiles covering the floor that wrinkled the water around. The humidity outdoors, budding its head against my freezing shower, made it near impossible to relax. I caved my shoulders in hopes to shrink, and with difficulty tore my face away from the patterns and crawled off of the furniture. I was hunchback with eyes shut, brows drawn together in a struggle for hopes that maybe if I didn't look at the destruction for a moment, everything would be back to the way it was before. The world would dissipate. My thoughts would stop quivering in a bid for reassurance.

My legs were cold to the human touch from being hunched over, so I shut the nozzle off and tip toed my way out. The back of my skull met the floor with a noisy thud and I shouted, my foot snagged in the towels. I cursed at myself for acting so human and distracted.

My thoughts were languid like molasses as I slipped into summer night attire and slowly made my way around the hallways for a second round. In my bedroom, the carpet darkened where my hair dripped and feet trailed. I opened the drapes on the doors and bit my tongue. There was no use in delaying, so I went back to the stairwell and grabbed cleaning supplies.

I spent the night cleaning at an even slower than the average human's pace, delicately scrubbing and mopping the scarlet tiles from the aftermath of my decisions.

That was the worst part of killing. The cleaning and the silence it brought. Having the be in my own mind and find something more interesting than death to occupy the loneliness.

Silence was all I had these days.

Maybe I was getting old. I laughed at the idea.

Once the blood and mud were no longer unsightly visitors in my home, I dumped the sour bucket of leftovers out to feed my garden. The flowers would grow well this year.

I climbed back inside, locked my doors shut, and finished my novel. Unfortunately, only two hours has passed. I tried again, this time speaking every word out loud so the foreign language could have a taste on my tongue. Then I took the time to memorize every page and the numbers each sentence landed on.

Still, time seemed to be a slow chore against the change of gear from the moon and sun outside.

I rifled through one of the collections in my office and picked out a book I had only read thirteen times four years ago. I tested myself against the clock to see if I could actually say the entire thing out loud before noon. And I did, thrice. It wasn't even amusing the make a mistake at that point and admonish myself.

Instead, I laid flat on my crushed velvet couch and recited the biography of Andy Warhol that I remembered reading most recently. That only mildly amused me, so I went out of my way to sort through my shelves and pick out a second edition of some French fairy tale.

A motor growled and I stood up. The wall of windows before me panned wide over the beach. Particles of sun sparkled off of me and mirrored back in my reflection. A mile out, a lone ship was powering through the waves and pointed for my throat. Venom flung into my window as I seethed.

The authorities were on there way after... had it been two days already of their lost postman? I slammed my book on the end table with it's pages kissing the glass, spine split in a poor curl. I had seven or ten minutes before they invaded my privacy. The show would begin.

I turned on the lights in the kitchen and clawed through a few cabinets before catching a lighter and hunting down odds and ends of candles that I had stored in random places. I popped three on top my dining table and lit them. I scattered a stack of old magazines in two seats. I moved the living room where I added five around the television set. I tapped the power button and wondered if I even owned the remote control. I'd never used it before. Most of the furniture that humans found comfort in were pieces in my house leftover from the day I purchased it. I zoomed into the office, flickered on the monitor and rested a stack of books beside it. All on the subject of eighteenth century artwork. I could tell them I was a traveling journalist and had arrived home a day or so ago. I dusted off the keyboard and pulled the chair out at an angle. I shrugged my sweater off and hung it on the corner of a mirror that leaned it's full eight feet.

The rigid and uncustomary suit of black reminded me that humans shied from dark tones in the heat. I went back and shut all the curtains in the living room that let in sunlight. I didn't want to seem welcoming. A business trip wore people out. It made them hide and relax to regain composure in their ordinary lives. A pair of shoes and some odd pairs of sandals were hiding in a box at the top of my closet, and I kicked them to the floor in an act to seem disarrayed, while also chucking a pair outside by the door. The rug was too neatly centered, so I dragged one edge with my toe to crumple it up. The stairwell's railing had a layer of dust from never being used, so I road my hand on it's edge and went up. A framed picture of my Italian brother's hung at the end and I tapped the glass repeatedly to show some wear.

Inside my bedroom, I sniffed the air and waved my hand around few times before guessing the temperature. A normal human woman would fancy something lightweight and airy. A soft pink chiffon dress embroidered in black floral patterns hung from its neck strap in the closet, so I left my old attire on the edge of a laundry basket and wiggled my way into the uniform. I had never worn a majority of whatever my wardrobe contained. I posed in the mirror and cringed. Certainly not my colors. I tore it off and cringed a second time at the terrible noise it made. Women didn't rip up their clothes to change, I scolded myself. Each ribbon of fabric was balled in my fist as I chucked it in a corner. The only form of color in my closet was a lilac cotton dress, and I thanked the small, demented side of my personality that at some point had the audacity to purchase the item. It was too snug around my waist and flared out below the knee. As long as the curtains played nice and the sun was on my side - which it had never been any other day - I could get away with the careless outfit. With a final touch, I grabbed a hair tie, I added a messy french braid and ran back downstairs. I made sure to leave a few odd lights on.

The boat was thirty seconds from my shore . I ran back to the living room and sat down. I showed the glaring, unsightly boat no attention, instead pinning my sight to the television. Humans likely didn't stare at flakes of static, though. I growled and ran over to shut the stupid thing off. The book I put down before came back in my grip and I lounged across the couch. This was likely a natural disposition a tired, traveling woman found herself in.

Each daunting second ticked from the clock. I swallowed the venom that overflowed in my mouth from the thought of their blood.

The grandfather clock hit a new hour and sang its typical mourning of the last hour.

I rolled over and listened intently for their heartbeats.

A sweet, feminine aroma came closer when the ship anchored. My breathing stopped being for show and instead, I hauled in big whiffs to catch key of the scent. I threw the poor novel back at the table.

I wanted to prove myself wrong and rub my eyes. I wanted them to reveal a set of men stepping out of the vessel.

But, I couldn't fool myself. There was no rushed heartbeat of blood or a seasick voices. No uniforms or sun ruined flesh.

Instead, alone on my island and humming a melody: a vampire had found her way to me.

I seethed and spit venom at the lit candles and watched as they wheezed out of existence. Avoiding my instincts pulling me on all fours, I fought the urge and stood up straight, guiding my bare feet to the door. I stalked silently towards my prey from the side window. She flipped out of the boat with impeccable, sultry grace and caught her hat in the air. She looked up from her hundred meter walk to my door, but didn't meet my eyes. I knew she could see me. She knew she was being watched. This woman would be my victim in moments if I saw a change in her demeanor.

She hiked the over-sized sunglasses off her face and clipped them to the V of her dress. Her scent was potent and not from any recognizable location.

I could tell from her apparel and hair that whoever this woman was, she traveled a long distance to find me.

When she stopped at the foot of my gates, hung open and shaking from the small breeze the palm trees giggled off, I fixated on her features. There was no way should win in a fight against me. She was absolutely tiny, even comparatively. Her shoulders were not tense and her venom was not pooling like mine.

This wasn't going to be a fight - or so to her planning, she assumed it wasn't.

This dark haired beauty was a natural piece of art that had hopped straight from the brushstrokes of Van Gough. She didn't show any disgust or shame for her open skin sparking like the sea behind her. She was very much aware of her being.

Her thin ankles were strapped in an elaborate set of sandals and she made her first step on my porch.

I swung the door open. She looked up and quirked her head to the side. I swallowed the venom that again was saturating my gums and held my stance. More growling fizzled in my the crook of my chest, but it didn't deter her from meeting me the rest of the way and planting herself three feet directly from the tip of my nose. As much as I didn't want to convey any emotion than anger to hold my defense, I cracked. I was in disbelief. Her eyes were nothing like mine. Where I glared deep visions of burgundy, a soft and curious daze of amber watched me in return.

"Hello, Isabella."

I rubbed the edge of my tongue around my sharpest teeth, then pocketed it between my jaw and lips.

She held a dainty hand out for me.

"I've been searching for you for a long time now. It's good to finally meet you."

I hissed, "There's a reason I'm hard to find."

"A matter of opinion," she shrugged. Her hand dangled like a spider between the dead space.

An awkward pause continued to unravel and I grinded and ate up every speck of air between my teeth. "You've got me at a disadvantage. You know my name, however..."

"I'm Alice. Alice Cullen."

 _Cullen_. I knew that name well enough that it kept a pleasant taste in the back of my head for centuries. It was almost as good to me as _Volturi_. My first breath finally burned out as I hunted for answers in her eyes and then her open palm. Against all better judgement, I met it with my own. Her face might have been a stranger to me, but the name held merit. I had never seen the small, exotic pixie before. That much I was sure.

"Cullen," I repeated the name. "Carlisle's mate?"

She laughed, pulling her hand back to brace her trembling chest. "No, God, no. He's the leader of my coven. Esme is his wife."

"He's alive and well?" Curiosity tuned it's way into my voice. I hadn't thought about Carlisle Cullen in ages. A storm of questions and theories were brewing up inside. Memories of our few adventures explored through my mind.

She nodded with excitement, the short spikes of her hair bouncing. "He is. Though, our coven has seen better days."

"Sorry to hear," I offered whatever ounce of my condolences I could muster for the stranger.

"That's why I'm here," she pranced. "I was hoping we could get your help."

My brows lifted, "My help? What exactly do you think I can offer you? And have it be worth my time?"

"We... could compensate you. If it's a matter of price-"

"I hold no significance in trinkets," I cut her off.

"I figured," she nodded. "Everyone wants for something, though."

I shook my head, and my long braid batted at my hip. "If I desire something, I have my own abilities to act on it."

She shrugged, "Rightfully so. But, you see-"

"I think," a low hissed cooked out of the steam of my miff, curling my shoulders in while I balled a fist at my side. "The only thing I want is for you get back on that ship and go back where you came from. Send Carlisle my regards. Leaving you alive should be a nice enough gift."

The door hit something hard as I tried to smash it shut.

Her foot perched out and wiggled the crack open to put us back in each other's vision. "In 254 days, you'll be dead."

My eyes burnt and twitched at her fiery statement, then quickly recoiled as my cheeks puffed. "Is that a threat?!"

"A secret of the Volturi is going to be spoken, and tensions are going to break. If you stay here, you're doomed. There's no way around it."

I hesitated to accept her statement. If anything, making such a bold threat was more dangerous than never hearing it at all.

"My family has even less time. If we work together, we can defeat each other's enemies. It's the only way."

There was no logical path of answers where she could know that. I couldn't reason with myself and her smile, her overly white slip of teeth and the rosy blush pursed on her lips, didn't add to her situation. I couldn't fathom the possibility of the Volturi breaking apart, especially after the centuries of power that they built up. I glared into her sweet, amber eyes. There had to be a slip of treason or foolery in her gleaming, odd irises.

"I wouldn't have come all this way if it weren't for your benefit as well," she promised.

I shook my head in disgust, gazing beyond her tiny bounce on my steps and back at her ship; then at her short hair curling in the wind.

"Where's your proof before I send you away?"

She frowned. "Didyme."

If there was a piece in time that a dead heart could beat again, that would have been my moment. Speaking _that_ name was as deadly as the people behind it.

"I... Well," I stepped aside and motioned. "Get in. You've piqued my interest, Alice Cullen."

She bowed in her flowing dress and danced her way inside. I clicked the ten foot tall set of doors closed and led the pair of us into my main living quarters. All of the small disarray suddenly lit a key of embarrassment in me for being so paranoid. I motioned for her to pick any seat she wanted, and followed in sync. We sat across from each other and I could tell she was observing my territory. Not many vampires made their way to my small island. Aro came by with Caius last century, and every fifteen or twenty years, Suplicia and Athenodora were able to escape the impenetrable defensive their husbands and travel. No one as outlandish or uninvited had ever shown up to my doors. At least, no one smart.

I avoided thinking about the mailman. Or the last nine who met a similar end.

"Isabella, your home is a treasure," she complimented. "I see why you're so fond of the Greek islands."

"Isolation is my greatest achievement."

Her smile dropped and she kept her eyes trained on the painting of the Volturi overlooking the stair balcony. "I can see that. Our friends," she nodded at the artwork. "They don't sell information easily."

"Only to those who are fond of death," I warned. The fact that she'd gone to our leaders and sought me out disgusted me. I didn't involve myself with drama. The problems of others were just that: for others.

She switched dominant legs and leaned back. It was an oddly human habit.

"I'm sorry to have violated your privacy. I know that we do not know each other, but I can see that we are going to be great friends."

I couldn't fathom the idea of keeping anyone at arms length long enough to see their worth. This particular vampire didn't look like much either. However, I wouldn't have looked at her and guessed that she was clever enough to discern my location to begin with, so I held my unfriendly words at bay. "Friends? I think you're a bit far fetched."

"I've been known to make bold assumptions," she disagreed. "Rarely am I incorrect."

The ambiguity in our predicament left me on the edge of the cushion. She was purposely feeding me answers so I'd ask the right questions. A battle of power wasn't something I was willing to involve myself in. This was my home and my territory. "I-"

"I apologize, I am being rather vague, aren't I?"

I huffed. "Extremely."

She tucked a throw pillow into her side. "My family and I live in the United States. I have always had a big role in our actions and where we go next. We travel often. We recently returned to one of our properties in a west coast state called Washington. We live... or should I say, _used_ to live peacefully among... shape shifters."

"Shape shifters? Werewolves?!" I ghosted her words. Only three or four times had I read about an ancient lore where creatures like that still existed, but I never lost my wits enough to seek them out myself. "They're like our own personal hell-hunters. They've been bred to kill us. Do the Volturi know?"

"One of them. Aro," she paused to anticipate my reaction. "He knows they're in our area. We have kept a peace treaty in place for years now to avoid any complications."

"How far away from them are you?"

"There is a boundary line between our neighboring towns."

"That close?" I rubbed my cheeks. "This is insanity."

"It never caused us issue before. As long as we didn't hunt on their territory and no humans died at our hands, the wolves left us alone. That was that pact, atleast through their old leader. He passed away and now his son has taken over. He does not look at our contract too kindly. He said we were a threat waiting to happen and we put everyone in danger. He sent his own team out and they followed our routines for a few weeks, or must have, I'm guessing. When we were split up, they sought out my mate. He was out hunting on his own. It's not like a vampire often has to worry about being unsafe."

I nodded.

"They attacked him. In self defense, he only killed one. It was that or he would die. He made his way back home. When I saw him fade from our future, I should have known something was wrong. We interact so rarely with their kind, I didn't know. Before, I really didn't know. Now everything has disappeared. I can't see anything. I can't see what the next morning is going to be like, the weather forecast, the people we will meet. The wolves have figured out that they have a natural immunity from my vampire enhancements. They're striking us, unprovoked, and-"

"What in the world are you talking about?!" I stood up and yanked the pillow away that she was on the verge of tearing apart. "Seeing the future and the weather and all of these things? Are you out of your mind?!"

Her glazed eyes flew rapidly to break the shell of her own brought on fear. "Isabella, I know you are a shield. I only wonder how well it works."

Her pale, short fingers reached out and took hold of my wrist. A lingering snarl grumbled in my ribs and purred out onto my lips.

"Just as you are made to defend, I am made to see. I have visions of the future. I see the choices you make before they happen, and however long it takes for them to pan out. I see it all."

"Lies," I frowned. "That's impossible."

"Really?" Alice let go of my arm and stood up. "You and I exist. Any power that I've seen a vampire capable of is paled in comparison to you. It all means..." she snapped her fingers. "Nothing. Their attempts fizzle at your will. Isn't that enough to claim anything possible?"

"A gift to see into the future would mean..." I shook my head, cursing myself for playing along with this tiny woman's games. "I can't believe it. Aro or Marcus or one of them would have taken you into their coven long ago."

She shrugged, crossing her bare arms. "What about you? A shield that can project and and protects anything you desire. They should have claimed you as well."

"They've offered."

"See," she shrugged. "You and I aren't so different. We know what we want, and we know it isn't with them."

"You haven't explained why you're here," I fought back. "All you've told me about are these... _wolves_."

"Isabella, these wolves are going to kill us. I cannot involve the Volturi. We can't chance this turning violent if there is even the _slightest bit_ of hope that we can avoid that outcome. Carlisle does not wish to bring us down to their level. We need a way around their sabotaging, and that's where I think you come in. When my mate was attacked, I knew I couldn't sit around and wait for the wolves to take charge. The leader is very young, and he is working on a lot of emotions, rather than rationality. He knows that by debilitating me, he can successfully... take us down."

"Why doesn't your coven move?"

"Because," she twirled her pearl earring and placed a shaking hand on her heart. "that doesn't remove the threat. If we leave, they could follow us. If I can't predict that, it means we are always in danger."

I frowned.

"I did my research. Initially, I also assumed that we should move away. I saw my family packing to Greenland for the next decade, but that doesn't remove our... _your_ threat. The Volturi."

I sneered, "Are you trying to tell me they're the enemy?"

"Yes."

"How do you know I'm not an ear for them? That I won't run right now and have them remove you? If anything, _you_ could be my only threat."

Her wide, beautiful eyes glimmered against the grandfather clock ticking in the hallway. "Time is our biggest enemy. If I left you here now, I would never see you again. You could run or hide, but on your own, you are dead."

Anger frothed in my venom with each rising growl.

"I am not threatening you. I am telling you. Let me give you proof. Let me show you."

Her palms spread out between us. The thought of reaching over and ripping each tiny arm out of it's socket was tempting.

The tips of her fingers twitched for me. She was baiting me in. If she dared attack me, I would still have the upper head. I had the ability to block her from calculating my next move, turning the gift she was dependent into a distraction. A useless burden. Any way she could possibly trick me would lead to her death. I was in control.

With the sag of her arms and twitch in her palms, I knew she agreed.

I pushed her hands down and instead went directly in to caress her cheek. I shoved a haze at her looming eyes and it bounced back with her sight blanketing mine.

* * *

 _"You've gone mad! I am just about at the end of my rope with you," Aro snatched his robe up and rolled the edges of the silk in his beefy fingers._

 _I stomped forward and jammed a burnt, broken finger in his chest, dejected but enraged over his response, "Well then, why don't you tie a noose and slip it around your head?"_

 _I let out a cry as he shoved me into the ivy-coated wall. I slid down to a sitting position, eyes blurred by the quick and dense motions. Aro was far away from caring and grabbed my arm and yanked me back up._

 _"The only reason people are nice to you is because you have more power than God," I seethed. "You're an evil man, Aro."_

 _He spat a heavy wad of venom on me and shoved me back down, "You have no right to speak to your Master like that."_

 _My head rolled in unnatural ease and I moaned, "I'm so sick."_

 _"You're goddamn right, you are."_

 _"I'm the only one who's not been infected with your lies. Let me live without this empty bliss―this selfishness. I'm so sick of your lies!"_

 _"You're insane!"_

 _I laughed, slamming my head against the twenty-century old bricks and letting thin trails of venom trace the full way down my face. "I'm fine."_

 _"You are―"_

 _I screeched, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!" Screaming, I stood up and pushed the full-length mirror aside, smashing it into hundreds of pieces. "I'm fine! Oh, God! I'm so mad, I don't know what to do! I want to know why, I want to know why you did this!" I_ _was dry sobbing violently, clutching my mangled hand to my chest. The floor shook with each profound step Aro took, and the door was shaking from the woman on the other end, desperately demanding to be let in and see me, as I was staggering away from him._

 _"You bastard!" I picked up the silver vase under Aro's grand portrait. "Let me out of here!"_

 _"You've gone mad, woman. The only place you need to stay is here, away from the rest of the world. If our friends saw you right now, they'd laugh at me! Laugh at how far I've let your ramblings go on!"_

 _I smashed the metal vase right at the toe of his lackluster shoes. He hurled himself at me. While I grabbed the last glistening silver container from the shelves, he curled his thickset hands around my pale arms. Our screams and voices mingled together in a hurricane and my fear echoed loud in my ears like a wheelbarrow collecting rainwater._

 _Aro tried shoving me into a chair, but I frantically fought back and beat the silverware as many times as it took against his head until the vase shattered and water doused his suit. He fell back onto his knees and clutched his head._

 _Alice grew weak on the other side of the door. I collapsed inside. We were still in a heated frenzy, but I took a step back and wailed, coming to terms with my actions. If I could hardly handle the life before, when I was shadowed and silenced like a child, then the aftermath of this would surely kill me. He'd probably put me in a room, wouldn't let anyone talk to me. He'd say I was crazy and just needed a bit of time to come back to my senses._

 _I was not crazy, though. I swore I wasn't. There was no way I could handle living in confinement in their ivy-coated home, cloaked away from my garden and the rest of the world. Never would I live without the truth. Before Aro could regain his footing, I pushed him down again and ran to the balcony, taking a deep breath and stared down my enemy._

 _As my feet staggered over the edge, Aro came from behind and tore my head off in one clean sweep._

* * *

"Amazing," Alice gasped.

I stepped back into my spot. I swallowed hard and started to crunch the curls of my at the end of my braid in tight loops between each finger. "What day is that?"

"Mid April. That was incredible! Did you see my vision? Because I got a look into your mind as well. Your gift is so powerful. Just one touch and you projected anything you wanted to. You saw my vision, just grabbed and plucked and cleaned it off and took what you wanted to see. I didn't think you were going to pick that one. Wow!" She jumped.

I felt nauseous and wondered how the things I swore were indestructible only minutes ago could crumble so easily. I fell back onto the chair and held my face, trying to comfort myself from the hideous dream. "I... I can't die."

She hesitated and walked in a curt circle before sitting very close beside me. "Sorry, I didn't mean that you dying was incredible. I just meant your gift. I guess most people aren't used to seeing... that."

I rolled my head and my elbows rocked. "Not really."

"Do you understand now? If I let you stay here, you're going to succumb to the fate that the Volturi is going to drag you into. If my family continues to be blinded, we will perish. That's why I'm here. You gift as a shield would grant us that upper hand, and in return, you would have our loyalty. In no way do I see you becoming victim to the Volturi's downfall. Your honor will be with our coven. If there's a war, we will have each other."

"This is..." I looked around my house. Only an hour ago I was alone and at peace. This was my sanctuary. I had not built myself another safe place. This was all I had, everything I had worked towards. The bustling gardens blooming outside, the calm and clarity I had structured indoors. As I gazed to the veering portraits whose eyes suddenly seemed so alive, they crawled on me like a breath of insects making their way up my neck. I could swore I saw them smirk at me. Their judgement was high and mighty. Even in my own home, my loyalty to the Volturi sang. It all meant nothing. If Alice's visions were as true as they felt, then I would surely be doomed. My immortality would become a blink in time, a concept crushed by the lies of Aro.

Because of something that had to do with _Didyme_... Marcus' ill-fated mate.

I cringed at the thought of her name. Even I was not selfish enough to have curiosity when it came to her belated life.

"You think I'm strong enough to shield your entire coven?"

"Undoubtedly."

I nodded. "And how shortly would I need to pack my bags?"

"We could leave tonight."

Her bright eyes were practically giggling with joy, glimmering hard against the lights colored by the chandelier.

"Not that soon," I argued. "I would have to fish through my belongings, see what's worth keeping... research where I can live, when I need to hunt-"

Alice put a hand on my knee and I flinched, but she wasn't bothered. "If you do this, you stay with us. We would never make a member of the family go elsewhere... unless you really wanted to. None of us are violent. We know when to keep to ourselves. We've never had a... nomad join us, so we won't be perfect. But like I said, I see us," she motioned between our chests. "Becoming great friends. Despite everything you're thinking right now. I see a much better future for us."

"And you think I am what you need in order to go up against these... wolves?"

"I have spent the last four months on my own searching for you and believing nothing else. You're the best hope we've got."

A weak tinge of understanding started to color reason in my head. "So, this Washington state, you say..."

She shot up like an ember from a fire and danced with sophistication around my living room. One slight jump from each tile to the next and she sang, "I can see clearer. Oh, Isabella! The future is brighter already. We have so much to get ready!"

"I can prepare on my own."

"Can I see your closet?"

I gawked, "Excuse me?"

"That dress is beautiful, and you are too, but together, _eh_. Not necessarily. I wonder if you've built a wardrobe as stunning as the fashion culture you're surrounded by."

A heartbeat couldn't have passed by for a moment without me realizing that maybe the abnormality of the golden flames in her eyes, there could very likely be the spilled beans of insanity.

"Wh...What is wrong with the way I'm dressed?" I slapped her invasive had off of my skirt. "It's very human!"

"If you think that even for a moment that you exude an ounce of human, you're just as crazy as I am!"

"That's uncalled for," I muttered.

"Pay no mind," she scoffed. "You're just going to have to get reunited with society, is all. Is that dress from the 1870's?"

" _19_ 72, thank you," I growled.

Her hands played with my fabric again before I had time to swat them off.

"Alice. You're spreading my patience thin."

"Here," she twirled around and went to her original seat. A large purse sat in a crumpled lump against it's legs. She fumbled through it haphazardly and threw a lipstick and envelope into my hands. "That's your ticket. It's good any time in the next month for when you're ready to come and see us. Just call..." she went back into her purse and dug out a plastic pen. She scribbled on the envelope . "That number. It's to Carlisle's cell phone. When I get back I will let him know about everything."

"Call you?" I mumbled.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "He will know to pick up to your number."

"I, uh," I stepped back. "Don't own a phone."

"Wow, um... okay," she whispered. A painted pink nail scratched her chin and she paced the room. "You could always give us a call once you've arrived at the airport. They have public phones for access. They're really not all that difficult to figure out. I can give you a lesson on mine if you want to practice. You know phones have been around for like, a really long time now?"

"There's no reception here," I rolled my eyes. "I'll find a way to contact you."

"Okay, just be careful. Without my sight, I don't know if I'll be able to see you coming."

"Yeah..." I scratched the nape of my neck. "What's this?"

The tube of lipstick reflected a beam of light from my hand.

"It's your color."

A finicky breath tousled at the flare of my nostrils, "My _what_?"

"That shade of red, it goes with your complexion."

Alice Cullen was officially bat-shit crazy. "You should probably go now."

Her big, doll-like eyes rolled in the thick forest of her heavy lashes. A quick gallop in my direction and I shoved her far away before she could act.

"No. No hugging."

She frowned, "Not even a quick one? It'd be kind of sweet."

"I don't do _sweet_ ," I found that the word caught in my throat and made me want to gag. If an unnecessary amount of hugging was any sign to my future, I needed to brush up on my fighting skills. Or maybe just my insect slaughtering. Either would work well with the likes of her petite frame.

She swooped up her belongings and easily unfolded the unnecessary sunglasses back on her face. Her thick, rosy lips blossomed in a giant grin. "Isabella," she adjusted her bra strap. Again, another incredibly odd human habit.

"What?"

"Welcome to the family."

And just like she came, Alice danced out of the front doors and set sail to the sea.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: thank you again to all of my readers. I appreciate every view. I hope you each enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

As if it were possible, my knuckles had slowly chaffed from the constant clamping in the last thirty-seven hours. I happened to pick the worst day possible to travel, between the over-abundance of people and the weather delays. I hung up with Carlisle about four hours ago after an awkward struggle with making my first phone call. The terrible quality of the public phone did no justice to familiarize his voice. His voice was only small strand of faith that told me that I was heading in the right direction. I kept a tight grip on the reassurance that, by some miracle, I was doing everything correctly. Which also meant resisting the pestering impulse to shred the incapable and bothersome bodies around me. The sixth person since my arrival to the United States was attempting conversation. Tremendous amounts of self control were not festering well anymore, and I was worn thin. From the blood lust and annoyance, I was sure the man next to me was better off as a tasty snack.

"You must fly a lot," he coughed. "This turbulence is something else. I haven't seen you go queasy once."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. For a week, I considered the benefits of investing in a pair of human-colored contact lenses. I ended up at the conclusion that I didn't care enough and could handle the occasional lingering glance. I was used to stuttering heartbeats and confused looks. This time around, it was unfortunately accompanied by my own fear of experiencing many firsts.

"Are you on a business trip?"

My nostrils flared and I blinked three times. I couldn't eat him. Not worth it. That would mean killing every useless sack of meat on this plane and having to fly the stupid piece of machinery myself.

"Visiting family."

"That's great! I am heading back home. My great grandma passed away and ya know, it's nice to see all of the family again but then all the claws come out and the pissing contests start and it just becomes a zoo," he chortled. "Guess you can plan a trip but you can never plan the weather. You look quite young to be traveling on your own. Do you folks know that you're safe?"

"I'm older than I look."

"Pardon me, then," his big, swollen belly swished with the descending flight. "Women are getting prettier every generation."

The air dried my rigid eyes. Only forty-five minutes and I could escape the confines. Flying in America was a dreadful experience.

I carefully plucked a magazine from the seat pocket and flicked through the laminated pages. It was outdated and about some groups of people I had could not recognize.

"Those Kardashians are sure a wild group of gals," his sausage finger invaded my space and poked the pages. "My daughter loves them."

"Charming," I gritted my teeth.

"Young girls need a better influence than these celebs who get famous for just being rich."

I flipped the page and recited the Declaration of Independence in my head. The speakers chimed and a bored voice recited the same speech that every other flight had. We were landing and I gazed out the window to see the city still fully awake and bustling beneath us. We buckled and I wrinkled my eyes shut to shadow the world. The man was still talking about nonsense. Absolutely none of his babbling received a response, yet he failed to notice. The bridge of my nose suffered as I clamped tight.

"Ready to get out of this joint?"

I was half way into writing out Clair De Lune backwards when his raspy voice cleared.

"What?"

"Time to stretch those legs and ditch this joint," he sighed, pulling the muscles in his arms. "We've landed. You proved me wrong — you did get hit hard at the end there. First for everything, I suppose."

I stood and fished my way out of the ugly navy cushions and into the line. The flimsy, temporary floor bounced under the weight of everyone colliding and running to get out. I was definitely not the only impatient soul. Our group had to wait again for the final doors to open up and welcome us. Storming through the clouds of humans, I finally released myself into the confines. Sets of families gathered together and couples reunited. It only took seconds to scan through the crowd and find the perfectly styled platinum blonde hair.

My shoes thudded against the retro carpet. A group of teenagers cheered together and trickled away. Out of the depths revealed my prize.

"Carlisle Cullen," a quick whisper lingered in the air between us. He was extraordinarily handsome, much more than our Volturi counterparts or nomads from my neck of the woods. Carlisle was certainly no holistic concoction, however. Just like Alice Cullen wasn't. She had been telling me the truth: Carlisle really had built a golden lifestyle. "Unbelievable."

"It's been too many years, Isabella."

He held a placid hand out, palm open and waiting. I was dazzled to oblige.

"Too many," I agreed. "I'm stunned it took such a long time for a reunion."

His tranquil smile was better than I remembered from our younger days. This life was tender on him and the years blessed him well. "As am I. My family and I have actually been looking at investing in real estate in your neck of the woods."

"Let me know if you need further assistance in the matter."

"A generous offer that I will take you up on."

He guided me between the hustling bodies and was masterful with his presence. A subtle nod to a mother, an audible apology for brushing passed a family. If it weren't for his torturously divine features, he could be another human in the melting pot. He effortlessly lead us to where my lonely bag was swiveling around the conveyor belt. Proving in a gust to be a mighty gentleman, he grabbed it for me and lead us out the dull, artificial lighting and beyond the check points. He held the door open for me and I thanked him again, welcoming us both into the cool night. The stars were dimmed and flickered poorly against the city lights. Even the moon was clouded over in a dense fog. "Did you run here?"

"No," he swung a set of keys around his open hand. "We choose to disguise ourselves at every human opportunity we can."

I plied my fingers around the hem of my shirt. " _We_... that term keeps coming up."

"My family and I," he clarified.

" _Family_ is such an obtuse word of choice," I admitted.

He stopped us in front of a slick, dewy black BMW. It chirped and flashed the headlights at our arrival, where Carlisle took my awe of silence as an opportunity to hitch around my side and open the passenger door for me. Another act of honor that I internally noted. I thanked him and took my bag, nesting it between my ankles. He was on the driver's side at a human's pace. He took his fair share of time to adjust the air vents and the radio station before reversing us out and onto the highway.

"We prefer to be called a family, though you know us as the Olympic Coven, I assume."

"I actually don't," I countered. I named the trees we zoomed past in the dark, admiring the different species they had in the country. "I haven't kept in touch with the world in a while."

"Alice did not explain it to you?" his groomed eyebrows pushed and raised in a mix of thoughts before settling back on neutral. "May I ask how she convinced you to come to us? Pardon my curiosity. Last I can recall, you were not one to be so easily coaxed into a seemingly non-beneficial compromise."

"What can I say? Alice has a... way with words." I turned the vents up, "It smells so different here."

"Have you been the the United States recently?"

I shook my head. "Never, Carlisle. The Western Hemisphere has not captured my interest."

"The culture will be a big change for you," he warned. "It's my pleasure to be your host. Things are not nearly as traditional in the same sense, as say, Volterra or Ithaca."

My fingers spread against the rushing air. He must have found it silly how intrigued I was with the simplest of new toys. I was not accustomed to traveling by motor vehicle, and certainly not one as modern or luxurious as this.

I knew he wasn't going to risk opening the window yet and took simple pleasure in the artificial gusts from the heat. "I see. Traditional is not exactly your forte, though. Seems like your lifestyle is bent around being rebellious. This Alice, she is your... daughter?"

"Yes, she found my wife, son, and I half a century ago."

"Wife... son?" I interrogated. "Carlisle, how large is your coven?"

He rubbed his strong jaw, a habit I could tell he was pawn to, and it was impeccably fallible how he rubbed his nose and drove. "Right now, counting our immediate members, it is a total of seven."

"Seven?" I gawked. "And the Volturi? Have our brothers not found it a threat?"

"They've questioned us, but we are loyal and have proven time and time over our respect to the laws. We wish no harm on others." His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.

I shimmied closer to the edge of my seat, "Carlisle, my god. No wonder you're having a rodent problem. Seven vampires who haven't ripped each other's heads off? That's quite an accomplishment."

He genuinely softened with a light chuckle. "This isn't a war we brought to ourselves. For the last hundred years we've kept our treaty alive. Only recently had we been subject to their change in leadership."

"Alice said so," I recalled. "You asked how she got me... here..." I turned away and tried my luck. "May I open this?"

"Of course, you don't have to ask."

My surprise wasn't something I was going to hide from him. "No? Not even if the scent of a human compels me?"

"I can tell you've fed generously before you arrived."

He did the honors and automatically slid the tinted window down a comfortable halfway. The fast air paled the heat combing through the vents. The speed felt amazing when it wasn't my limbs working for it. "Smells like starch and salt."

"It's what the humans favor in their diets. Fast food is a familiar face around here," he pointed out a large, glowing yellow 'M' dangling in the sky. "As a doctor, I can't say I approve. The easy access to fatty foods is like an obsession to so many of my patients. Makes the dirty work become unfortunately repetitive."

"How long have you been a doctor here?"

"In Washington, this will be my third year."

I was confused again and bunched my hair over to one shoulder to keep control from the racing wind.

"This is our second time back at this home. We transition and move every seven or eight years. We involve ourselves in the communities we are in. We spend as much time there as we can until the lies become noticeable. We pack up and start new lives wherever the vote gets cast next."

The idea of uprooting myself every decade was nonsense. I'd lived in my home for centuries now without trouble. Other than the occasional worker or sailor, I was a forgotten siren in the oceans of Greece. Next to Carlisle and his incredibly confident posture and calm words, I shrunk. My back craned and slouched. He found so much happiness in a polar lifestyle, that I began to question if I should buck up and find hostility in their insanity. How could creatures like us find a sense of belonging in their prey?

Carlisle didn't see humans in that light. However he sustained his lifestyle, his family - a group of seven vampires - followed in line. "Are you all golden eyed?"

"Yes. We do not hunt humans."

"Ever?"

"No."

The daunting question burned itself in the back of my throat. My curiosity was insatiable for the Cullen's. I asked what needed to be aired. "What, then?"

"Animals. Wildlife."

He had a wife, he had daughters and sons. His eyes were gold. He worked as a doctor to heal what we so naturally hunted. He held relationships with humans and took pride in his community. I wondered what the point of being an immortal for him was. "For how long?"

"Nearly my entire existence, Isabella."

"Good God," I felt instant shame at how horrified I was at his admission. "Sorry. I do not mean to be so barbaric. I am merely..."

"You do not offend," he assured. A dapper smile reached his eyes. "Even Aro found it remarkable when our partnership began. He used to think it would weaken me, but decades of holding the same diet and taming our blood lust has proven otherwise. We are strong friends. My family is not so keen on the coven. We pride ourselves on keeping in touch with humanity. For us, that stems from our every day experiences. Aro is very fond of a few of us for gifts thry have. Members of my family receive visits or the odd present from him. We see them when the time is appropriate."

"Your family has valuable assets. Like Alice, your fortune teller. Must be a huge advantage to see the future."

"Vaguely, but in a dense sentence, yes. She is given visions that reveal the consequences of our actions."

"Aro hasn't snatched her up for himself?"

Carlisle took his eyes off the road to look at me, "No. She is free to go if she ever feels compelled to, but our family fits together. We are best when united."

Their lifestyle was an eclipse from mine. "Meaning?"

"Happiest," he defined. It wasn't the answer I expected. "She and her mate are still perfecting their blood lust. It's sublime, but Jasper is having the most difficult time."

He was not conjuring up an argument against the obvious hue of my eyes. Though I imagined when the time came, a lengthy debate would saturate the Cullen's house.

"Who is your mate?"

An enormous grin lifted his perfect cheeks. "Her name is Esme. She is a fabulous mother to everyone, sometimes even myself. If compassion were tangible, it would be her gift. Her role in the family is impossibly necessary. I don't know if I could go through everything without her."

"Such a poet," I taunted him. "I'm glad you've found someone to share eternity with."

"As am I. This would all mean nothing without her grace."

"Your family is very dear to you," I observed.

He shrugged, "We are all each other has."

I nodded, doing my best to shove the nagging timid shadow gnawing it my ankles.

"Alice said she had spent the summer searching for me. Did you give her a lead on my existence?"

Carlisle frowned, "Nothing more than a conversation in passing. Our family faired poorly in her absence. We didn't know why she left us. Her mate was not even sure. Though I trust Alice wholeheartedly, it was difficult to not think the worst had come to her when days turned into weeks of nothing. No contact. I really am still not sure how she came up with the idea to find and track you down."

"That makes two of us."

"We will have to talk as a family, then," he lightly concluded.

The city of Seattle was far behind us as the adventure continued on. The traffic weeded itself out as the rural plains claimed the majority of territory. The highway caved with dents as we landed further away from the wealthy parts of the state. I had not put thought into the United States beforehand and I reminded myself to gather information on their government and how their democracy functioned. Often times, tourists from the West were frowned upon as selfish and ill-mannered. Carlisle excuded anything but.

He finally made a choice exit off the interstate and a match lit with anticipation inside of me.

"I didn't want to overwhelm you with meeting us all at once. I figured if we split it into pairs, you'd have an easier time getting to meet us."

I slouched back into the plush leather and batted my bag between my feet. "Sure."

We made several turns before gliding down a very narrow stretch of road. The concrete crackled under the tires. I took in the vast trees who planted the Earth that occasionally sprung an opening of grass and wildflowers. Ten homes shared the road, each very similar and likely constructed fifty years ago by the same crew. He stopped at a three way intersection with a blinking light and made a left. Bales of hay decorated the front lawn of a brick house, and that was the last house for the next fifteen miles. A dirt road would pop up on the sides where a lone mailbox would lean its rickety neck against a tractor or sprinkler.

"Almost there," he promised.

The Cullen coven may have held pride in their relationship with the community, but they undoubtedly kept their distance. His extravagant car made a statement in the barn yards and muddy trails. A cluster of pine trees packed like sardines marked a new property and clouded the roadside for close to a mile before they scattered. A home far different than the others cut creases into the land with an abstract, modern build. It was perched on a hill and sat like a crown observing its kingdom. The upscale mansion towered over any other home we passed and excuded elegance. A piece of modern art. Definitely a stretch from where I had been days before.

"Home, sweet home," Carlisle welcomed us.

"It's lavish," I breathed out a soft murmur. "You've done well for yourself."

Not that I expected differently from the experienced, centuries-old doctor. The BMW came to a rest, waiting for the massive garage doors or roll open. Four other cars gleamed in the radiant concrete structure. Each was exotic and shining, not tamed or ordinary as I had anticipated. He shut the engine off and acted natural, running out of his seat to greet me with an open door.

I thanked him and ducked my way out, brushing off the wrinkles in my black pants in an attempt to soothe my nerves. I smelled the others sprinkled around the property and heard movements.

He motioned for me to follow and I wrung out the handles of my bag. He led us inside the manor, where lucious bounds of hardwood coated the floors and greeted me to an open-plan kitchen. At least it hadn't wreaked of fowl human food, I joked internally. The facade stopped at the door. Each nook and corner was free of dust or dander, cleaned to solid perfection as the sharp modern furniture decorated the rooms. The kitchen led into a massive cathedral ceiling living room.

"Isabella!"

Down the floating stairs flew Alice, dancing straight into me. I dropped the bag as a soft cushion of air left my lungs. Her dainty arms bounded me up in a tight, uncomfortable embrace and I awkwardly groaned. She laughed and was almost climbing me with each abundant bounce. Her cozy white sweater rubbed circles into my neck.

"You're finally home," she beamed.

I patted her shoulder and took the first risk of frothing my shield around her. She spun quick and faced the other vampire who stood like a statue on the stairwell. His dirty blond locks curtained half of his face. The soft lights reflected off of his rough, scarred skin. I had never seen a vampire with so many bite marks.

"Jazz, come meet Isabella."

He ventured down the stairs, his socks patting gently against the floor. A breeze of power tickled on top of my head and I shivered.

"Whatever you're trying, it won't work." I warned.

He frowned.

Alice caught him with both of her darling hands. "I told you she's immune."

He grunted, his plum tinted lips pressed into a thin line.

"He's an empath, he's trying to read your emotions. Jasper is harmless."

Bewildering me in a swift movement, he held a hand in my direction. "The eyes are kind of freaky, sis."

I looked at Carlisle when a carefree laugh rattled out.

I placed my trust in Alice's mate when she wouldn't stop nodding in encouragement. Our hands met and I gave him a salting of my shield.

"So are yours."

Alice giggled. "Jazz is kind of shy at first. He's my sweet thing, though."

Her pointed nose tickled his jawline. His throat twitched from a thick swallow of venom.

"Few with your gift have ever existed," I looked over his scars and noted his handsome features beyond the broken pieces.

"Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he can manipulate the emotions of those around him—calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

"Thank you for the novel, sweetheart," he jabbed her with his elbow and Alice played in return.

Her lighthearted fist went cold and she fell into him.

Carlisle stepped forward and helped Jasper, each man guiding her by the forearm to rest her frozen corpse to the expansive sectional.

I quit breathing and rocked back and forth on each heel. "What is going on?"

"She's having a vision," Jasper gasped. He caressed her cheek endlessly. Carlisle crouched beside her but locked his gaze on me.

"Is your shield in effect?"

"Over the three of you... should... should I pull back?"

Each barked out a solid refusal and babied her rigid form.

"Oh my!" Alice sprung up from the cushions as if she were electrocuted, then jumped into the swinging chandelier before launching herself at me. I hissed and jerked away, backing hard into their kitchen bar. "That's the best one I've had in a long time!"

"Darling, maybe tone down the crazy for a bit," he chuckled. Both of them zoomed to her side and beamed.

"I don't think that's possible!" A huge burst of energy bounded into the living space, where a mammoth in vampire form collided with Jasper. They punched each other a few times before laughing. "I think _crazy_ is her forte."

"I am _not_ crazy," she ran over and flicked his ear.

He shoved her into Jasper's open embrace and hauled over my way. I had never seen a vampire as strong as him. His arms were two fully grown bears covered in hardy veins. His grin was ever larger, covering a massive set of teeth that reminded me of boulders fencing the edge of the ocean. If someone as petite as Alice had the ability to crumble steel into a fine powder, I could not fathom the aptitude of his force. He winked a golden eye at me, "How about a hug for your soon-to-be favorite brother, eh?"

Physical contact was contagious in the Cullen household. Despite my scowl and hands splayed wide out, he bolted in for an embrace that I easily could have died from. He wiggled us back and forth and my spine sang with a loud crack.

"Itty bitty Isabella joins the team. Tell me, who's your pick of the crop? Mario, Luigi, Peach, or Bowser?"

I wheezed.

"Sorry," he dropped me and I fell flat on my behind. The floor should have cracked under the pressure, and my dignity was glad it held firm.

"She didn't own a Wii, Emmett. She has no idea what Mario Kart is." Alice crossed her arms. "And I bet you the moment she learns how to play, your ass is grass."

A shatter of ceramic cascaded across the house and hit my chest. I growled and flew to my feet in a blaze. From the stairwell, another vampire held her stance.

"Who fucking failed to mention that she was a murderer?"

Carlisle was by me in a flash. He dragged us away from the mess. "Rosalie, I cannot believe you would jeopardize our hospitality is such a vulgar manner."

Venom soaked in the gaps on my teeth as I hissed at her.

"She's not one of us!"

Emmett went over and pulled at his curly hair, "Come on, babe. Don't start this already."

"Don't start this?!" She pointed a manicured finger at Alice. " _You_ of all people should know to keep these evil bastards out of our territory... unless you're fond of Jasper being attacked!"

The elfin fashionista screeched, "You should keep your pretty mouth shut, Rose. Karma is real in this house!"

Rosalie shot me a look that possibly had the power to end my immortality. "Do you take pleasure in killing the innocent?"

"You aren't the innocent," I fought. "Really, nobody is."

Her teeth revealed with the tight curl of her lips. She shoved Emmett aside. She was the only member wearing shoes at home, her heels clicking ferociously into the hardwood. "Is that a threat?"

"It is if your thick skull can hear it."

Carlisle stood between us and his fingertips ate into her shoulders. If it wasn't for her twisted need to murder me, I would have thought she was a beauty. The heavy, long curls of blonde layered like a thick veil all around her, framing a fiercely resplendent face.

"You won't be allowed to hurt anyone around here," she spat past Carlisle. "I'll make sure of it, you disgusting bitch."

"Filthy succubus," I snapped. "You'd be the first to fall victim."

"I'd like to see you try."

Carlisle pushed her away. "Absolutely enough!"

"How can any of you be okay with this?" She screamed. Every vampire fell into a shadow of silence. Rosalie stomped to the middle of our disjointed circle. "She stands for everything we are against. Like she could ever be part of our family. She is a monster! She's chosen the very life that we all have struggled to fight. She kills people out of sick desire!"

I punched the table, "I'm right here."

"I'm very well aware," she bit back. "How do you live with yourself?"

"Perfectly well," I argued. "I follow my instincts. I've lived longer than any of you and I was dragged here to help _you. Your_ choices have put you in this predicament. That's not my fault."

Her lip fluttered in a pang of anger. "If you touch anyone here, I won't hesitate to be the one to kill you. The wolves won't even get a vote."

Emmett groaned, "Chill out. Literally nothing has happened and you're both standing here as if the pope was dead on our floor. Let's just—"

"You're all so blind."

Carlisle placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder and grimaced, "Please ignore her for now. I'm sorry, Isabella. We really don't want you to depart so soon without giving us a fair chance."

Rosalie threw a pillow back on the couch. "Jasper, stop trying to distract me."

Alice hugged him from the side. "Thanks, sweet thing."

"Anything to shut her up," he agreed.

Emmett howled with a hefty chuckle, "Could you do that more often?"

Rosalie threw a killer glare at Emmett, "If you aren't the most infuriating husband on the face of this planet. I swear!" She fell into the chair and pouted.

Jasper joined her and flooded Rosalie with some sort of feeling that put her destruction to an end. His mate bounded across the room and nuzzled into my side. I flinched and she continued.

"Sorry, sis. This family is another breed of insanity. You'll get used to it."

"I am having whiplash from all of this," I admitted. "Are you part feline?"

She smiled and latched on my arm. "Just happy you're here."

A warm, sweet scent curled its way around the corner and following it was a delicate woman. Carlisle left my side and met her immediately, crushing her to him in a swift tug. They shared a tender kiss and tickled one another with the tips of their noses. She curved her attention from his glowing smile and focused on my invasion.

"Dear Isabella," she cooed. A formal bun braided a bouquet of tendrils that waved from her heart-shaped face. "We have heard so much about you."

Carlisle split a wide grin across his cheeks, "Isn't she amazing? Alice has already had a vision."

Alice plucked herself from my elbow and I followed my shield around her dancing. I wondered if blacking out and being vulnerable to see glimpses of images was a pleasant feeling. I could only imagine that it was mortifying to be out of control.

"I'm Esme," she approached me with both slender arms held out. My chest tightened in the anticipation, waiting for the moment she would rethink her choice and stagger back with disgust of my eyes. Just like everyone else had. Even with her tender, glimmering topaz eyes fully absorbing my features and reflecting my own being, she wrapped around me. Her grip was firm and taunt. My arms were soft and slowly cooperating with the loneliness of my reaction. The family was physical and hands on, and I should have realized that when Alice has first visited my haven. I laid my hand on the space between her shoulder blades and rubbed like a sad, broken windshield wiper. "It's wonderful to finally meet you."

"I thought Carlisle was a love sick puppy, but I see that his words were pale in comparison, Esme," I offered in return.

"Oh, goodness," she pulled back and gripped my arms. "You're too sweet. Welcome to the family."

"Thank you," I held back the hiss I wanted to spit as Rosalie scowled. Emmett took her to his side and sat down at her side, lounging across the massive couch.

"What's wrong, dude?" Emmett laughed and kicked his feet on the table. We all focused on Jasper, who was stiff in the corner on his own. Alice bounced over and traced her hands across his stoic face.

"Jazz?"

Carlisle and Esme took hesitant steps in his direction.

"What's going on?"

His glare snapped over to me. "Did you see this, Ali?"

"See what?" she rubbed his shoulders and gripped the opening of his hoodie. She was like a panicked bird adjusting its nest before a storm. Her slim fingers fidgeted on the small specks of dust on his clothes, and brushed his hair in a multiple directions as if she were digging around for an answer in the crook of his skin. "Jazz, you need to relax, okay? Do we need to get out of here?"

Rosalie tore away from the furniture and halted her march halfway before turning to sneer at me. "What are you doing to him?"

"Rose!" Esme scolded.

Her gleaming blonde hair had a strand stuck to the side of her mouth where a drop of venom was sneaking its way out. "She's hurting him!"

Carlisle was in front of me before I had time to react to her heinous accusation. He was eight or nine inches taller than me, nearly blocking the entirety of my view. "A moment for Jasper to speak on his own behalf would be considerate, if he'd like."

A commotion crackled like a fire in the hoard of vampires and I stepped away from Carlisle's back. He flinched and I did my best to remain silent. From the hallway where everyone had introduced themselves, I heard a set of lungs pumping. It was a tense, quiet drawl that spun gusts of air. They were not exhaling, only stealing from the room. My fingers sprawled like the legs of a spider and inspected the small circles of fabric around my thighs. Whoever it was hiding in the contours of the shadows beyond the walls, they were sending sparks into the cover my shield. Some sort of power was encroaching its way with a mighty force specifically in my direction. My nostrils flared as I pushed every ounce of air from my chest. I took two slow steps away from Carlisle, ignoring the way he crooned over his shoulder to follow my stalk.

"Isabella?"

"Who is there?" I mumbled, trying to keep the aroma out of my dry nostrils and away from my fingertips. My body was going to act if I didn't hold still. Whatever the smell was that wafted from the opposite side of the wall, it was going to drive me insane. I wasn't breathing and the stranger was lighting flames in the depth of my bones. I was stuck in a bolt of invisible lightning, my ribs shaking against the carcass of my heart. I was afraid. I could see the tiny nicks of light poking at my shield. It wasn't working, but I wondered if the stranger was stronger than I. If for once in my existance, whoever was hiding from me, was able to penetrate my power and hurt me.

A hundred ways I could possibly defend myself drew long, prepared sketches in the forefront of my mind.

"Edward."

A hand fogged over of arm and I shoved it back. Carlisle held both palms up. I traced through every body in the room and pulled the numbers together. There were supposed to be seven, but only three couples were grouped together and watching me with careful eyes. A steady set of steps echoed in the hallway, and I arched like a bow around the chair in my way. He steadily emerged with grace and illuminated under the soft glare of their modern chandelier. He was colored the same as me, a ghostly pale that would glitter impossibly well in the beams of the sun. He was dressed young and Americanized, with dark denim pants and a heather gray shirt that contoured against the firm budding muscles he flexed. His strong, square jaw clenched and my focus dipped to his face. I doubted in that second if I were immortal. A hardy twitch from a muscle galloped in my chest. As my hand flew up to grip the base of my throat, he copied my movements. His eyes dripped with molten honey and he slowly dragged for a taste of his bottom lip. I was starved. An unbearable burn lit on my buds and I rumbled with a low growl. He had to have some sort of effect on my shield. Nothing about the tightness in my muscles made sense. The jumble of thoughts in my head were atypical. I was never not in control of myself. No one had a power to alter my independence.

My knees were close to giving out, and in fear, I let out a nasty spit of venom that spurred out with a daunting growl. It vibrated in my chest and I made it as loud as I could in hopes that it would rattle the clouds rolling in my brain.

"Watch out," Carlisle ran from my side and caught Alice in her timber. The vampires fawned over the wide eyed, voided vampire. I took the opportunity to crawl closer to their lone member. His stare stayed on me, his bottom lip wet and mouthing something. My confusion turned into anger, worrying that whatever he was doing, it was going to get worse.

I threw the chair from my path and ignored the crashing of wood as I attacked. My tight fist cracked against the drywall when he ducked quickly, swooping around and putting me in a headlock.

"Stop her!"

His touch torched my arms and I swung with brute force to flip him forward. We rolled on the hardwood and in the mess of our struggle to be on top, he countered for a brief moment and kicked me, scattering planks. He hovered above with each of his hands gripping an impossible hold on mine. Our eyes met and it made the breath in my mouth turn bitter. He smelled so inviting that I had to fight against my instincts to stay in control. It was a power tactic, something he had to be looming against me. My muscles pushed hard to see beyond the mess of his tussled, copper hair, and the bubbles blowing from my dead heart. I screeched and headbutted him hard, throwing him to the side and pushing myself in a safe spot to anticipate his next move.

He rubbed his forehead and shot me an offensive glare.

Despite my eyes glued on his every movement, he was quicker and wrapped himself back around my torso to pin me against the wall. I could see his family ready to step in, and the overwhelming realization of being unsafe consumed me. I was out-numbered and ranked. This would be the real day that I died, and I was sure. Alice falling victim to her blank, wide stare probably saw that only seconds ago.

It took every bit of power to defy the screaming voice in my head to look at him again, and I scratched out of his hold and jumped out the double window doors to the porch. He tackled me again, and as I rolled onto the wet, green lawn, I fought with my shield to stay strong. I didn't know what I was fighting, or how to fight it, but the power he had over my nerves was undeniable. I gripped the hand he hand on my neck, choosing not to enjoy the way he seemed to prefer my touch instead, and threw him into a tree across a stream that flowed through the backyard.

I turned to see the entire Cullen family lined up behind us. This was not how things were supposed to go. I wasn't supposed to die like this.

"Don't touch her," he yelled from across the water. I gawked, trying to fight the pull beyond the pulse it brought back to my veins in his beautiful tone. "Don't."

Alice pushed forward in the pile of vampires and Jasper flew to her side. "Isabella, you're safe."

I bit my tongue and whipped my attention back to Edward, who had quietly stalked like a lion to my side. I crouched and stopped inhaling. He was so close that whatever his power was, it bled into my pores and pickled my thoughts. A harsh hiss poured out the crevices of my lips, and the second his hand reached for me, I yanked him around and threw him back across the river. He hit a pile of rocks and I ran after him. He recovered in an instant and was back on the balls of his feet. "Stop."

A scream tore through my chest.

"Kill her already, she's insane!"

Rosalie was being held back by her mate, and Carlisle had his back to us. He was saying something to them that I couldn't focus on long enough. My attention was all on the mysterious danger ahead.

Edward was staring hard, as if he were looking beyond my eyes, and took off into the forest. I followed. I was ready to tear him apart and burn every little toe and each individual eyelash. I would make sure no lonely speck of existed of him. I had never cued myself as the strongest vampire — far from it.

Yet no one had bested my abilities. In the fourteen centuries that I claimed my place on Earth, no creature had penetrated my shield. It was why Aro coveted me. It was why I was successful alone and powerful as an asset. As I chased Edward through the tangles of the forest, who I noted was extremely fast and catching a fair distance between us, I wondered how long he'd been alive. Alice or Carlisle had not mentioned that a family member among them was mentally destructive. Jane was close to the most debilitating prowess that I'd ever met. Her power had not even licked the soft of my eyes or caught me while off guard.

A log dying on the forest floor crumbled into a mash of splinters as I stomped through it and jumped into the trees. I was four miles from the Cullen's house, and I could see the mansion lit dimly in the distance. No one in the family was following us, which frightened me more so. The realization stunk. This all been a ploy to destroy me. If I continued to chase Edward, the bait they used, I would be corned and torn apart.

With Edward far enough away I could think with some spill of reason. The burn in my throat was faint and no longer controlling my senses. My forearms flexed and grew hard against the leather jacket. I calculated from the air as I started to jump in the trees, away from the direction I last saw Edward in and the Cullen's house behind me. Seattle would not be far on foot if I wanted to venture back to the airport tonight and get the first flight back home.

I wondered if I _could_ go home. Alice knew where I lived, and if they were able to track me down, they would have me killed. A shiver tapped into my legs. Seattle was not the way to go. I would have to venture further north and go into Canada, where the forest was the most dense and figure out of plan from there. With a flight from several trees, I perched on top of one of the tallest branches that overlooked a huge, billowing river. The unfamiliar territory rushed a gush of anger into me. I hated being foolish and at a disadvantage. I could easily be corned by one of the Cullen's if I did not watch every step I took with ample grace. This was a neck of the woods they knew better than I.

A promise flushed its way into my belly as I swore to explore more of the planet. I would never let trickery blind me again.

In one fluid step, I poured myself from the tree top and crashed into the rapids. The chill of the night soaked through my clothes and with every powerful stroke, I fished through the flowing water. I bounced off a few boulders and listened to the water get louder with each meter. I swam into a rock and perched myself on top. I gasped for air when the cold night pinched my chest. A massive waterfall cascaded ahead, revealing a new stretch of land that expanded for an endless amount of time. I was tempted to stay and count all of the trees.

A hard smack flung me back to land. I shivered under the trampling weight and prepared myself for a fight.

Edward hung above me for the third time, and I cursed the stealth he possessed. His hand came down to mine and I lashed out and bit it. A horrendous roar beckoned from Edward and he fell back. My venom would give me the chance to get away again.

He jerked his hand around violently, as though to shake out the poison. I hissed and tackled him into a tree that snapped and exploded. The water bled from me into his clothes, soaking him where I left my marks. It made the delicious smell he carried ooze off like a potent elixir. An oil that sunk deep in my skin and itched it's way into my belly. He was enticing like brandy. A lustful dose of heroin. My conscious fell victim to my weak self control. The way he curled into a tight embrace on my attack was delicious. He was dangerous and addicting. I couldn't think properly again and the fear was dangling again in the back of my throat. It infested inside me like a hoard of roaches. Mites gorging on my walls. His arms tied around me like almighty boas. I struggled under his grip, where he threw us back on the grass. I groaned when a pulse throbbed in my skull. He then slammed us against a tree. I closed my eyes and waited to smell the black smoke of a fire, or the searing pain of my limbs being torn off.

His warm palm cupped my cheek and I sucked in sharp breath.

"Bella."

A sob tore through my lips and I threw a punch, which he effortlessly caught in his other hand.

"Open your eyes."

I did as he said and fell puppet to staring back. My foolhardy tongue twisted in shock. "What did I ever do to your family?!"

His brows contorted and nearly convinced me that it was honest confusion.

"Other than going crazy just now? Nothing."

I wrangled to take my fist back from his grip, "Then why?! Just tell me _why_ you picked me."

"What are you talking about?" he demanded. His face craned in closer, stealing each of my breaths for himself. My curiosity betrayed my need to focus by wandering to the idea that maybe he smelled so delicious from their choice in diet, or possibly the conclusion of midnight seeping into his pores. He was beyond any ordinary vampire's allure to me. My imagination would have drifted at any other peaceful encounter about him.

"You broke through my shield, cornered me. Just to kill me? To prove you could? To get to the Volturi?"

His fingers wove into the crook of my fist and continued to warm me beyond the cold water drenching us.

"Your shield works. I can't hear your thoughts."

I hated how calm he acted.

"Hear my thoughts?" I coughed up anger. "Are you trying to prove me insane?"

Edward clenched my hand fully, pulling each of his fingers between my own and holding it still. "You seem to be doing that just fine on your own."

I was ready to wad another lurch of venom at his face, but he caught on and pressed his body harder against mine. A beeline of tingles walked into my back and I twitched against him. "Stop doing that!"

His thick brows slumped into his scrunched nose. "Am I hurting you?"

By some miracle, his grip softened and the pad of his thumb rubbed the back of my hand.

"Don't act innocent. I'm aware of your power."

"So tell me what you're thinking," he countered.

"Excuse me?" I butted my shoulder into his.

"It's incredibly frustrating not knowing what you're thinking," he nudged the lapel of my leather jacket. "This can't be very comfortable to be in soaking wet."

My eyes bulged and I mocked up a laugh, "You're worried if I'm comfortable before you all kill me?"

"Kill you?" he stepped back, keeping one hand wrapped in mine. "I'm the only one here, and I don't have any plans on that."

Seizing the space he offered, I swung us around so that he was tucked into the tree instead. I reached up and cupped his chiseled cheek. More jolts of heat sizzled and I did my best to not flinch. Like a rubber band, I snapped the force from my mind and wrapped it around him. I didn't care if he got a snoop into my head. All I wanted to know was the truth about him and the others before I killed him.

His memory gurgled into sight. He was in a room back at the house, leaning against the door frame with Esme. She was adjusting the collar on his shirt for the second time in three minutes. My voice echoed through the house, followed by the vase breaking from Rosalie. Edward stiffened and felt sorry, remembering how his sister treated most people with a tinge of hatred, especially red-eyed visitors. He rubbed the nape of his neck in frustration, and cupped the front as an itch spiked its way inside. Esme noticed and asked if he was okay, offering a small hug. He assured her it was the nerves. The tickle grew painful and he recoiled when she left.

My voice piped up when Esme went to the living room and Edward decided that the curiosity was more prominent than the urge to hunt. He copied Esme's pace and stopped at the mouth of the room. He could taste my scent then, so flavorful and luxurious that I felt the sensation beyond his memory. It was the same great one I experienced from him. My embarrassment peaked when he turned the corner and heated up when a surge of delight overcame him at my appearance. Not disgust or fright like the others hid. A genuine spur of excitement laced his bones. He watched Alice fall cold like a corpse in the corner, and he read her thoughts.

I gasped, faltering before placing my palm firmly back on him.

Alice was having a vision, and from Edward's eyes, he read her mind. Saw us fighting, chasing one another, being here in this moment, coming to a peaceful compromise where we were unsure of each other.

His thoughts became overwhelmingly personal when he focused back on my defensive form, preparing to rip him to shreds.

I removed my hand as if it were a hot branding iron.

I blinked back in my own sight. I realized how uncomfortable my clothes were, hardening to icicles in the chill.

"You think I'm hurting you," he was glaring at the dirt under our shoes, eyes wild. He raked both hands through his thick, lavish copper locks and pulled tight. "That's why you ran - that feeling. You're getting it too."

My mortification was engraved into me. My privacy was thoroughly invaded and I cringed. "I had no idea. I thought you were like Jane. But you're just... a mind reader."

He snorted, " _Just_."

The hair stuck on my face was smoothed aside with his warm hand.

"You feel it too," I mustered the courage to touch him passively. I traced his Adam's apple. "The burn."

"I do," he confirmed. His apple bobbed and I snatched my hand away in rejection.

Embarrassment chucked into the soft spots of my body and I was weighted down. Whatever I was feeling, and Edward too, was not a wrong doing on his part. He was not preparing to murder me. It was my paranoia and lack of trust that lead me to react like some treacherous newborn. I hadn't been through an awkward situation in centuries. I shifted several paces away from Edward.

He followed.

"I'm... I apologize, Edward. Truly. I have never experienced something like that... _this_ before. This is not how I normally carry myself. I've behaved incredibly rude. I can't tell you how ashamed I am."

He rubbed the crook of his side and shrugged. "Neither of us are very innocent in this dilemma."

I coughed again for the sake of my throat to relieve some of the irritation and rawness. "I am fabulously at fault on this one."

In the clearing and in our silence, I peeled the jacket off and flinched as it landed with a sticky thud on the ground. Both of us stared at it before he nipped his lips. His gaze on it was hungry, and I wondered if vegetarian vampires wore leather. A terribly ugly chuckle sloshed in my cheeks.

"What's the joke?"

"Nothing," I would rather be burned alive than offend him more. "This is not how I expected the start to our new life to be."

"We could try again," he came back and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull away in humiliation. "My name is Edward."

"Isabella," I croaked.

He brought my dirty, wet hand to his precious lips and I chewed at the skin of my gums.

"For the record, I would never let anything kill you."

I grunted, "Not even Rosalie?"

"She's harmless," he assured. "Unless you touch one of her cars."

My unruly hair clung to my sides and tangled against the wrinkles in my shirt. "Good to know, I suppose."

"Alice might pretend to be upset with you to get a shopping buddy for a while."

"Her personality is..." I combed a tight knot out. "Animated."

"That's a nice way to put it," he agreed.

In our shared comprise, I didn't know how to act. I didn't know how to appreciate his beauty. Most men would take offense to being thought of as beautiful, preferring a more masculine adjective to stroke their ego. But with Edward illuminated by the twang of the moon, paling the landscape before us to a musky dessert of boring illusions, he exceeded the term. He was a head taller and chiseled from the hands of Michelangelo. I wondered if he was woven for me, a breath of fresh air from my home. Like some sort of demented angel that was hellbent on torturing me for its own desire. I had definitely sinned enough in life to earn that. He had the same nectar sweet eyes as the rest of the coven, and I knew he had their pure intentions. He was suave and limber. I sunk into my own admonishment for thinking the tingles in my skin were from anything other than lust and attraction.

I was glad he couldn't read my mind.

"I sincerely hope you can forgive me for-"

"I already have."

I shook my head, "You don't have to pretend. I am well aware of my inappropriate actions and the consequences. I don't expect you to have to put up with that. I'll gladly spend the next year camped in a shed trying to forget this happened."

He rolled his shoulders and held his hand for mine again. I obliged and watched has he pocketed it in his palm, keeping it at his side. "You're forgiven, Bella. If you want to earn it, that's fine. I don't mind."

More time to explore the crevices of him would be nice, I shamefully agreed.

"Anything."

"Maybe we can start with some answers. You can read minds, too?" he questioned. He motioned to the top of a hill south of us. I snatched my jacket back and we walked at human pace, a habit the Cullen's were fond of.

"No," I kept my eyes down at our clasped hands. They looked like a beautiful locket that would glimmer in the heat of the sun. "I project. It leaves me more vulnerable than, say, your gift. I open up and it allows others to see into me as well."

"I heard your thoughts."

As much as it irked me to, I snatched my hand back in fear that I would lose control and have him see any more of my head. I crossed my arms and his steps faltered.

"I don't intend on displaying improper conduct any further. There won't be a repeat of tonight. I promise."

Edward touched my arm and I shook it off. In no way would I ever want his pity for the sake of some kinship. "Which part? The running or the mind reading?"

"Both," I licked the roof of my mouth. "I am able to shield your family without personal disruption. It won't require physical contact or an... invasion of my own traitorous mind."

He smirked. "Is that whole living in a shed idea some sort of sick expectation you have?"

"It wouldn't be a bad idea. I prefer my privacy," I stopped and dug a heel into the earth. The poor grass snapped under the pressure. "It's better off that way."

His shirt tousled in the wind as the trees sang with the air. His eyes were thin slits. "You're the one with the shield. Privacy is your pawn, more so than anyone else."

"Maybe in this situation," I rubbed my elbows. "It's good to know you can't read my thoughts. I would go insane."

"I think you're beyond that point."

I socked a fist into his shoulder.

He apologized and laughed, hiking by my side.

"Can I ask you about your coven before I have to face everyone?"

He offered a hand again and I did my utmost to extinguish the desire it flared inside me. He guided me up and over broken logs and through the roots.

"Have you always lived with Carlisle?"

Edward swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead. "No. At one point in time I preferred to be on my own. I rejoined Carlisle once I saw the error in my ways. I've been with him ever since."

"How long has that been?"

He cast his gaze beyond the trees, "I was Carlisle's first addition. That was in 1918. I left for a short period in the late twenties and returned in a few years."

I was shocked to learn that he was so young. A dense meadow fell behind the gaze of Edward that far surpassed his century old eyes. His age was certainly not a reflection of his maturity. He had more sensibility than even I in the corruption of my fear. If he had acted as irrationally as I had, our conversation would not exist now. I would be a broken puzzle of a corpse that was seared into a heap of ashes. I respected Edward more for his calm demeanor. Carlisle was the same. His entire family was likely a reflection in their own peaceful beliefs.

"You're a new age of sophistication," I offered. "Very particular."

"You say that as if you are not."

I was glad my heart was dead for the hundredth time that night. A flutter would have betrayed me and been inappropriate towards Edwards hospitality again. "Not nearly so as you, especially for _my_ age."

"It's unkind to ask a lady," he warned himself. "I wouldn't dare say you were a day over a thousand, Bella."

"Is that meant to be a jest?" I chewed on the inner beads in the corners of my lips.

He shrugged, taking a lock of my hair and twisting it enough in his fingers to wring out droplets of the river. "Not in the slightest. You're a fine wine."

"I've aged like milk," I corrected. "I couldn't tell you how old I am."

He offered a crooked smirk and I suddenly because enthralled with my curled hair in his hand. He let the wind take it back and worked on another. I never imagined an innocent act could work it's way to being something I cherished.

"Have you always lived in Greece?"

Edward tucked us under a tree and we slid to the ground. He sat beside me and worked on my hair, sending a fresh flock of goose flesh to my back. "That feels very nice."

His touch lingered as he brushed a strand off of my neck.

"I have," I reached out to dry his hair too, but considered differently with the guilt still sitting in a lump in my gut. "This is my first time living with a coven."

"I've heard that you're close with the Volturi."

I frowned, "How much have you heard about me?"

"What Carlisle knows and small glimpses from Alice's head. Her memories do no justice for you. I had no idea you'd be this fascinating in reality."

My knees kicked up and I tucked them firmly against my chest. "Are you always such a tease?"

Another smile lined the corner of his mouth. He was exquisite. I cursed the moon for looking above us, desperately drawing up sketches in my mind for how he might sparkle once coated in the sun. "I don't intend on being. It might be the spell you have on me."

At least that was mutual, I mused. And at least he didn't say _curse_. Even if the rest of the Cullen family only kept me around for their own benefit, I could dig inside the mind of Edward and piece him together to satisfy the craving I had. He carefully swung a dried mahogany strand back to its home and combed through the pieces with his fingertips. I wondered what he did on a daily basis to pass the never ending cycle of time. I could only guess the number of books we shared in common that shelved themselves in the library of our brains. Maybe he carried a fever for Wuthering Heights and an affinity for chess, and flowers, too. In isolation I was my own creation. A freak in the stamp of humanity.

Edward was different. He and the Cullen's entertained their existence by corrupting their instincts and becoming part of society. It was obvious in the way he handled my anger and fear. In his golden irises and casual attire. Could he be as well versed in literature or theories like I obsessed over? It was likely. He was handsome and mature. He was weird in his human addictions, like how he scratched the edge of his eyebrows and blinked often. It almost made me uncomfortable with the tangy charm. I could happily spend long hours admiring his lifestyle. His hair or his voice. His crooked grin and his story.

"We are in Washington still," he interrupted my thoughts. "It wouldn't take us long to return and watch the sunrise."

"Am I welcomed back? I already broke your house."

"Emmett likes to show off his strength and do construction work. You've given him a way to spend tomorrow."

"Right," I plucked a strand of grass from his pant leg. "Like I did everyone a favor."

"You are by being around."

Edward stood in a flash, giving a strong hand to my disposal. The manners from his time mirrored in his warm chivalry. I doubted the necessity to grip on and zigzag our fingers together, or the flimsy breaths our chests heaved. "You are profusely quicker than I am. I think my arm would rip off if we went back like this."

"I'm the fastest runner in the family. It causes a few fights when we make the time to play baseball," he confessed. "I could carry you if you're not up for the challenge."

I resisted the incentive and added extra space between us. "Not necessary."

He pointed to my jacket, "Or I could carry the extra weight. Try and give you the advantage."

"Maybe just a head start is fine," I chucked the leather gear over my shoulder and cringed at the soaked smack. "Spare me some dignity."

He turned to face south. The wind played with the ends of his hair and I never thought I'd envy something as plain as the air. I shook crumbles of dirt that had crusted into mud and took off without warning. Dainty twigs became ash under my hasty steps. I charged as steady and hard as my feet could carry me. The forest was a blur of paint in my rampage. Sound was a gush as it whizzed past my ears.

"You might be the slowest," Edward jumped in front and looked back at me.

I growled, "I won't hesitate to rip your pretty head off."

"You'll have to catch me, first," he laughed.

I swatted and made an enormous leap to a tree branch. I swung and gained momentum, gliding through the thick web of forest that cascaded before us. Jumping my way home would be my only chance at beating Edward.

In the distance, he waved a goodbye. "Try and keep up, spider monkey."


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for setting this story up as a favorite and alerting it! The reviews are so kind and highly appreciated.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Edward was the fastest of our kind that I'd ever seen. My plan of swinging through the vines in hopes to gain some distance on him failed miserably. I crossed it out for future reference. He was like an agile lion while I was some lurking vulture.

I was standing on the opposite side of the creek listening to the family go about their activities. The water licked the tiny shore sides and gushed onward. The Cullen family knew I had arrived. I was using the alone time to regain my composure. Embarrassment tinted my vision and I was concocting an apology for them.

A sudden blow flung into my side and I shuddered. Edward fell from the trees and swooped me around as his prey. We spun until my spine contoured into the bark of the willow tree that was crouched in the back yard.

"You nearly shocked me back to life," I frowned.

His sharpest teeth revealed themselves under the sly grin. "Are you always going to be so easy to scare?"

"A bold assumption, but no," I shoved his arm away, but Edward snaked it around the small of my back.

"If you say so," he mocked. "You are pretty slow. Are you sure you're even a vampire?"

My lips coiled and jaw clenched tight. "Jeez. You really know how to dazzle a lady."

"I could dazzle you, if you let me," he swung a flock of my hair where it all gathered on my back. "I find you and your abilities to be quite fascinating."

The pang of disappointment made my muscles sag. In reality, it made sense that the only reason Edward was putting himself around me was for the shield. The dewy haze flickered around him. I looked away and crossed both arms. I pouted at my stupidity. It was all too easy for me to become foolish for him. He saw me as some immature nomad ready to murder any hairless mammal with a pulse. We had only introduced ourselves. He knew nothing about the person I was underneath the power. There was no reason for him to share my desire.

"What about it is so _fascinating_?"

"I've never met a shield before. You're something else. No one has ever been silent," he tapped my temple. "Before. You are the mind I want to read more than anyone else."

"Does it bother you to hear everyone all the time?"

He nodded. "More than you can imagine."

I clipped the sides and fit Edward around his own shield while the Cullen mansion was absorbed in its own. His face lit up as if the sun were rising only to out-shine his brilliance. Edward could compete with any gilded age trinket. He was a treasure.

I pinched myself to escape the dreadful thoughts. I hated how consumed I was by him.

"Is it you doing that?"

I shrugged.

"I've never heard so much before," he leaned in and combed a hand into my hair, fisting it half way down before fishing the entire length through. "Lovely. The world is so rich when the voices don't clog you up."

"Don't you have any thoughts of your own? Or did I accidentally cut those off, too?" I jabbed.

Instead of taking offense, Edward winked. My dead heart drooled.

"I've got plenty of thoughts. I'm just marvled by the industry of your mind."

My eyes squinted as I fell into the idea of him meaning more. Something about Edward - whether it be the lust I was trying to dissolve away with my venom, or the way his laugh lines creased every time our eyes met - reminded me of white calla lily and rose gardens. His messy hair a freshly blossomed, sun-kissed peony. I wanted to crawl my hands through it and see if it felt as nice as flower petals or dewy grass or crisp book pages. I wanted to know if he felt like my home. He was the dollop of Greece in my homesick heart. I doubted that it had only been fifty-some hours since I was last there.

"Who's garden is that?"

I distracted myself with the plywood boxes scattered throughout the lawn. Edward had me cradled to his side when he stood straight and looked.

"Esme's. Summer ended. She finished cleaning it out on Monday."

"Oh," I walked through a stone pathway that curved under our feet into a tiny bridge that branched to the yard. A patio set and grill were zipped up and tied down in tarps. The umbrella was sucked in and against the wall. Edward stood behind with his hands claiming my shoulders. I wanted him to write a sing into my bones.

He pointed to a set of lawn chairs that were stacked. "Emmett and I still have to put some furniture away before the weekend or Esme will get on us."

The notion that Edward was somebody's son spun a web of silent giggles in my head. Never had I been told to do chores or been punished for being a sloth. "Do you get grounded?"

"Yeah. She will take away the game systems or my stereos until things get done."

I shoved him against the shoulder, "Your family takes this role playing seriously. Next you'll tell me you eat at restaurants and use public restrooms."

He smiled, "Promise you won't laugh?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Last year, Carlisle won an award from the state and we all had to go to a dinner. Alice ordered soup and the texture was bad enough that she threw up on Rose."

My jaw hung as an unladylike cough came out. "I can only imagine the fight that ensued."

"Rose changed every decision she made dozens of times for a month just to drive her visions insane."

I kicked an anthill and waved the dust around with my shoe. "I don't think I can participate in some of these family activities. They're slightly... well, absurd."

"Maybe to some," he rubbed my arm. "It's not all bad."

Esme's prepared yard waiting for the Spring time left an appetite in my stomach. "It would be nice to garden with Esme."

"I would love that!" Esme waved from a window on the second floor. Edward squeezed me and let go to wave back.

My lip became a casualty under the assault of my teeth grinding from the nerves. Her angelic silhouette faded from our view as she went back to whatever room she claimed. Every vampire in the house was having their own conversations. I listened in on Alice as she scratched a pencil into sketches while debating with Jasper about a human they mutually knew. Emmett was lounged in the living room with the television buzzing as Rosalie pestered him with trivia. Carlisle and Esme were walking around, and with a soft hum of music, I realized they were sharing an intimate waltz.

Then there was Edward, devoured into my space and waiting for the moment I was ready to cross the threshold.

"Do you have a garden back at your home?"

I hitched around to look directly at his lovely face. The impulse to nuzzle my palms into his sculpted cheeks ate at me, but my self-disgust budded harder. My hands hardened into fists while my arms crossed. "Yes. It's my favorite thing to pass the time. I wish you could see it."

I winced at my own absurdity.

"One day I could," he was amused. "What's your favorite flower?"

"Roses."

Edward nodded, "Favorite color?"

We wandered closer to the porch steps. "It changes from time to time."

"What's today's?"

I observed him up and down and smacked him away in good-nature. There was no chance in hell that I would offer a poem about the way his copper locks started to glow in the rising sun, or the glimmer in his honey-sweet eyes. "This is all a bit personal, isn't it?"

The patio doors swung open and my joints congealed. Edward paired himself to my left and held a tight grip on my elbow. Ethereal and sleek in a new outfit, Alice hopped outside. Her smile flew wide like the wingspan of a robin and she looked between us. "Wanna see your new room, Bella?"

"It's Isabella," I cleared my throat.

"Huh?" she squinted between us. "You let... never mind, you're right. Come on, I'll show you to it."

She held the massive door open and curtsied. The two separate shields was distracting, so I popped Edward's and enveloped him with everyone else. Right away his hold tightened and he shot Alice a look. The door clicked shut and Alice skipped ahead, beckoning us forward to the stairwell. A monumental shadowbox hung along the passing wall that was coated in hats.

"What's this?"

Edward snorted, while Alice held her hand out. "These are our graduation caps. There are seventy-five in total right now. Forks High will pull us up to an even eighty next year."

The flat squares were each decorated with a flimsy golden tassel, stuck like tally marks. Even with Alice's explanation I couldn't put a finger on what they meant. The pair of vampires were grinning and waiting in silence for me to join along in some joke.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand."

"Like when Carlisle is a doctor and Esme is an architect and works, we attend high school and then college."

I zipped my arm out of Edward's reach and pressed into the railing. "What? As in you attend a public place? For humans? To do what?"

"Do you... not know what high school is?"

Their wide eyes cornered me into another unpleasant bout of awkwardness. A hive of bees stung the corners of my brain and burrowing for the term _high school._ I had never seen one before, or if I had, couldn't identify one. I had never been inside one, and I didn't think I had ever 'attended' either. Yet in their community, it was substantial enough that all five of Carlisle's children had to. "I'm sorry."

Edward peppered a hand through his array of hair, "You don't need to apologize. We should, we just assumed you knew about our culture."

"High school has been around for over a hundred years now. You really don't know what it is?"

"Alice," Edward snapped.

She shrugged, "Sorry, it's just... when was the last time you kept in touch with society?"

"Alice!" Edward lifted himself a step and stood between us.

"No, it does not offend me," I tried my luck at saturating my curiosity by laying a hand on the small of Edward's back. His muscles fluttered. I did not hesitate for a second to retract myself. His neck craned over and I shunned the eye contact, instead trading my shame to stare back at Alice. "I should have done my research before joining your family. It was foolish of me not to. The only time I've interacted with the community was to gather some supplies or hunt. Most modern things I don't have insight on."

"Oh, that is so..." Alice pulled her delicate arms against her chest and jumped. "Amazing! I can show you so much. We can go out shopping after I get home today. We can see how fashion has changed and all of the amenities that shopping centers offer. We could even get you your own phone!"

A gust of air whipped into our circle and Emmett welcomed himself. "Dude, we definitely have to get you into sports. Football season is starting up."

"And we can show you the internet."

Emmett laughed, "Can you imagine her tweeting?"

"Do you know about computers?"

"Or iPods?" Emmett rubbed his hands as if to light an exciting fire. "You can watch my favorite shows with me! Everyone else is tired of them."

My breathing stopped and I took a step back. "And you do all of these things in... high school?"

Emmett howled with a beckoning chortle. I avoided closing my eyes didn't let them know my desire to disappear. Where I saw them as the ones with the strange lifestyle, they vastly outnumbered me. Which made me the stranger. Each of the three impossibly beautiful souls were staring at me, Alice holding back a giggle between her tightly pursed lips, and Edward frowning. Disappointment haunted my ribs.

"It's an institution that offers free education. Children attend public school until they are adults. It starts when they are toddlers and eventually they graduate. That's the last step of basic education: high school."

"We go to college after, try out for a different degree each time," Emmett pointed to the frame. "Keeps us busy and occupies the time."

"It's can get boring some years, but we always learn something new."

I pushed a wave of hair behind my ear and stared into the space ahead. "Glad I asked. So... which way to the room?"

"Right!" Alice pranced up the stairwell and I averted looking both men standing behind us. A pit, small and dense like the core of a peach, rattled around in the bottom of my stomach. I hated knowing that Edward was watching me. His stare was a storm of seeds pebbling on my skin.

Betraying my own sanity, I peaked over my shoulder when we turned the corner and stole a last glance at him. Anger hung on his lovely lips while his eyes were dark and stuck like nectar on me. My chin circled as I chewed harder on my cheeks and rushed to walk beside Alice. Her eyes lit up and she held a hand out.

"Rosalie does my nails and I do hers. It's a tradition we do on Friday nights. Do you want to join us tomorrow?"

The thought of being stuck in closed quarters with the wretched, blonde medusa was not going to be on my to-do list any time in the next century. "I'll pass."

Front down stairs, I heard her thank god and a growl hummed from me.

"Sorry," she shrugged. "Esme and I decorated this for you. We left it plain so you could add your flare. Your house was so lovely before. We figured you might like to make the space your own."

At the end of the hallway was a modern door like the rest. My suitcase was planted in front and I wondered who had been considerate enough to carry it there. Carlisle was the only one in the house who didn't have mood swings around me.

I palmed the sleek nickle door handle and pushed our way in. Alice squeaked and guided us to the center of the space. The dark hardwood continued it's way in, and three of the walls were a heather grey. A canopy bed dressed in stark white was ruffled and seated against the opposite wall where an enormous window looked out. It was trimmed in elegant drapery that matched the bed set. An empty bookcase was in the corner, paired with a desk and matching dresser.

"Your bathroom is connected to the suite," she pointed to the same wall we came through on the furthest end. "And you walk into your closet from there."

I picked my bag up and held tight against my side. "Thank you, it's more than I deserve."

"I thought you'd bring more," she examined my sad sack. "But hey, another reason to go out shopping."

I wasn't sure I could fill a single room with all of my thoughts. Standing in their home made me feel like a parasite, and the shame intensified at the thought of ruining their things with my tastes. In no way did I plan on tainting their space with my sour aroma.

Obviously, they invited me. I was welcomed to stay here. Protecting them was key in saving myself.

Hopefully, in months time, the wolves would not be a problem any longer and we could all return to normal. The way things should be.

"I think I'm going get cleaned up," I announced in hopes that Alice would give me my first moment of peace since landing in America.

"Of course. It's nearly six in the morning. Carlisle will be headed off to work soon, and then the five of us go to school. Esme goes to volunteer at noon on week days. If I don't see you before we head off, have a good day, alright?"

"You, too," I dragged my gaze across the bed. Her fingers wiggled in departure and the door clicked with a closing thud.

My shoes padded against the hardwood as I walked over and sat on the mattress. The plush, white comforter dipped under the weight and hugged into my hips. In a flash, the shoes flicked from my heels and flung across the room. A soft thump answered from the drywall when the shoes hit and slumped down. The zipper hummed and I tore into my bag. I started to wonder if being lame was my new personality. A pathetic, worn out copy of _Wuthering Heights_ was on top. I carried it and watched it sit alone on the bookcase. It fell over without any other members. Maybe shopping with Alice would hail me an advantage in hindsight.

Staring back at me from the black sack was a dress I had owned for only five years. I admired the view from the window as I made my into the doorway, where a massive closet decorated with hundreds of hangers laid still. The white stone was sleek and cold. I ran my fingertips across the railing. The basic blue dress was pitiful in my grip. On the hanger, it proved how unnecessary the space was. I was grateful for it nonetheless. It meant that there was a corner of the open world where I could hide away and be myself. Even if my shield colored the house, I could focus and be alone.

I reached inside and pulled an extra outfit from the corner and hung it up beside the dress. Together they looked sad and uncomfortable, much like I did. The bag fell to the floor and I kicked it under the racks. That pitiful haul was all I had to show for myself. There wasn't much I would miss from the ghost of a home I left behind. There were the quite nights and calm of the sea, but they would not miss me. They were more grand than my tiny existence.

Sprinkles of dirt sank to the floor as I brushed off my shoulder. A very modern set of machines sat in the bathroom and I stripped down. A cluster of pebbles bounced onto the floor. I was like some animal coming in from the storm, polluting the house with the hints of nature. My outfit sat at the bottom of the washing machine and I brought it too life before starting the shower. By the time the steam fogged the room like a canvas being ruined with paint, I excused myself into the shower and sat near the drain. Each strand of water was colored with my filth. My fingers played with the strangling bits of minerals. I rolled the specks around and chased them in a maze before sending them into the tiny craters.

I listened to the other vampires get ready for their day and discard the night. Each fell into their routine like pouring milk into a glass. Smooth and easygoing. All I could do was soak in the storm of the shower, trying to drown myself into the pit and be one with the earth.

Carlisle said something to his wife and left. He fit into a vehicle and drove away from the house.

One down, six to go.

Rosalie was seducing Emmett, and I instantly changed gears and listened in on Jasper. Alice was combing his hair. I could hear every strand being pulled taunt and scratching against the plastic. They were singing together, a song that I could not recognize. The shower felt lonelier.

My toes crawled up the tiles and pinched the levers down. The faucet stopped crying and the steam sat with me.

My skin matched the stone and I rubbed my back into it. An ineffective, poorly timed out plan to disappear with the remnants of the moon. A beautiful arrangement of towels sat atop the vanity. I snatched a large one from the stack and draped it around myself. The reflection in the mirror was tainted with a layer of warmth and I smeared a small space away. My throat twitched and I turned the lights off. I didn't want to know what my face was flushed with. An impossible emotional rainbow had corrupted me in the last day. I was detached from my center. The peace I had back at home was no longer a part of me. A knife was carving it out quickly from my insides.

The sad dress rolled off the hanger and into my fist. It smelled fresh of thyme and basil. I had hid the garment in the kitchen after I had purchased it. It had been a long day in Athens, where tourist season had been in heat and I was a disruption in the crowd. A man had grabbed me at the hips and insisted I join in a dance. The day was not a particularly fond memory in the locket of my skull. I had been so pent up in frustration by the time I reached home, that I threw it in the kitchen and let it sit there for some time.

At least none of his blood had stained it.

I threw the towel back in the bathroom and sat down. The window was twice the length of the bed before it. The sunrise was on the other side and the forest was yellow and dying with the season. At least it was interesting, trees like these were not around back at home. I didn't get to experience autumn like this typically. It was only September and I imagined that the seasons at Forks were harsh and unforgiving. A gaggle of clouds were blanketing the morning with a ferocious tinge of silver.

The hum of an engine roared to life. Emmett and Jasper were screaming at their wives to hurry. Their shoes ticked into the wood as they chased the time and met up. They zoomed from the driveway and left a stitching of peace that knitted to the home. The dwelling echoed in silence and I let go of a breath. My fist caught the curtain and I rubbed my cold nose into the silk.

A knock tapped into my door and I adjusted. My back stood solid. The wrinkles in the dressed were crushed under my insisting palms.

"Come in."

The door slowly crawled open and in bowed Esme. Her divine caramel locks were in a new twist of braids that curled like a tsunami that met in a glorious bun. She was in a yellow ochre skirt with a cream, long-sleeve top. Her magnificence glorified with the autumn leaves. Her smile made me realize how Carlisle had fallen so deeply in love.

"Good morning, dear," she met me at the window and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I held my breath. "I wanted to see how you were doing now that the house is a little less crowded."

"I'm adjusting," my voice faltered. "It's all very different."

She nodded, "That's understandable. This is such a large lifestyle change for you. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for your sacrifice."

The sun reflected against us. I drank in her darling gaze and the way she beckoned me in like the heat of summer or a thick, comfy sweater. "It's as much for me as it is for the family."

Esme nodded. "Doesn't pale the significance of your actions. You're a good person, Isabella. I can see it in your heart."

I did my best not to scoff at her silliness. Never had the word _good_ been used to describe me. I was well aware of my heinous nature, of being immoral and an outcast. I would not cripple her fantasy of me. I rubbed my arm, "Anything I can assist you with today?"

"Would you like to explore Forks today? I could show you the boundary line and some places we like the hunt."

"That sounds... nice."

"Wonderful," her good eyes squinted under her lovely grin. "I would like to get to know the real you a bit. I don't let people be strangers for long."

We faced each other and I layered a curl of hair around my fingers.

"May I ask how you and Carlisle met?"

At the mention of his name, her chest grew and she sucked in a gallon of air. "That's an interesting question."

She motioned for us to leave the room.

"We could talk in the living room?"

I nodded and followed her out and beyond the hallway. We toed down the flights of stairs and fell into the wide, open area of their main floor. The shatters of yesterday's fight were repaired. I was impressed with their stealth and speed to fix it in such a short time.

"I like the view from the living room so much. It's going to rain today, and the windows look like a painting from the leaves, wind, and rain. It's very pretty."

I offered her a smile and we both chose a seat opposite of one another. She lounged into the over-sized chair and cuddled a velvet throw pillow.

"You don't have to be so stiff, my darling. We _are_ family now."

A shrug popped off the laziness of my shoulders and I sunk into the back of the couch. The cushions supported me and actually felt pleasant. "Thank you."

Her toes curled and flexed out. I heard the first rain drop hit the roof. "I was born in 1895. Carlisle was a doctor in Ohio where my family lived and he met me as a child. He fixed my broken leg when I was a rather rambunctious and fell from the top of a tree. We met again when I was 26 and dying."

"I'm sorry," I sympathized.

"Oh, the past is long behind us," she waved off the sadness. "My life was not the greatest when I was human. I was a wild spirit and everyone around wanted to to chain me down. Carlisle was the first person who loved me enough to let me be free."

"And you knew he was the one?"

"Immediately and indefinitely."

I brushed my hair back and took in her warm expression. Any mention of Carlisle set off a special show of stars in the twinkle of her eyes. I envied her compassion and love for others. Her attitude to nurture was alien in my world. It didn't make me uncomfortable, which was a welcomed change in the last day.

"I lost a child two days after giving birth as a human. I was devastated. Edward will be a gentleman and tell you that I fell from a cliff, but the reality is that I jumped. I guess it was meant to be that Carlisle found me. He was my angel."

"Who was changed first? You or Edward?"

"Edward. He dictates the fondest depths in my heart. He's my first son and second love. He's very fond of you."

My lips crunched against my teeth. "I attacked him, so I highly doubt that."

"He's an understanding soul. He doesn't attach to others easily. His heart is lonesome from all the decades."

She was nearly giving me a sales pitch.

"May I ask how old you are?" Esme played with a braid in her hair. Her ankles switched over and I noted how excellent she was at playing human, too.

"I assume I'm eighteen or nineteen in human years. Maybe seventeen or even twenty. I have no recollection of that life. I've never cared about it."

Her finely arched brows sunk, "Really? Not a single memory?"

I shrugged. "No, and I've outlived any trace that would provide evidence. I can't quite pinpoint when I was changed. My newborn years were hazy and likely more uncontrolled that most."

She swallowed. "I slipped a on a few occasions."

My elbows ate into the side of my thighs. Our differing version of evil were vast. "Athenadora eventually found me and realized my gift around the time that... the Lombard Kingdom on the peninsula was being formed. I believe that's when I trusted her enough to follow her back to Aro."

"That's..." Esme sat up and rapidly looked between the corners of the table between us. "I honestly don't know what time period that is."

"Around the sixth century. I had been on my own for decades prior."

"Incredible," she laughed. In a flash of elegance, she crossed her legs and sat on the edge of her seat. "And when did you meet Carlisle?"

"It was only for a short few years. I was working on a task for the Volturi and Carlisle was high in their ranks. I never officially joined their coven. Nor have I ever really thought of being anything but alone until now."

"I'm certain the Volturi are jealous," she smiled. I found the rain interesting and focused on the wall of windows before us. "You mentioned you garden?"

"Yes," the red and pinks of the peonies came to mind. "I miss that that most from home. My garden was acres long. It kept me company so well."

"None of the kids here like helping out. I'd love to have you join me next season."

"I'd like that, too."

She stood up and ironed the wrinkles from her skirt. She held an unnecessary hand out and I gathered myself up. She held a finger up and was gone in a flash. I weighed between the balls of my feet counting the seconds. A breath of air brushed by and she was back, holding a jacket out. I crumpled the navy fabric between my fingers and thanked her quietly. A pair of keys jingled in her hand and she was pushing buttons into a white panel on the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a home security system. I have to set it up whenever we leave. It's a small town, but we are still cautious anywhere we go."

It chirped and she shut the plastic door. She beckoned for me to come. We made our way through the kitchen and back out to the garage. A robotic voice chimed and I jumped. She informed me that it was the security system still. The headlights of a Mercedes came to life and she gestured for me to lead the way. I stole a spot in the passenger seat and admired how gorgeous and powerful she was behind the wheel of the powerful engine. She was a vampire in the the vehicle. A force to be taken seriously.

The garage faded away from view and Esme had us down the hill in seconds, swooping with a hard turn into the main road and sailing us down the street. The windshield wipers worked endlessly to clear our view. Rain was hailing down in thick, cold droplets. She drawled on about their daily life in Forks. She admitted that it was one of their favorite places to live, being so clouded and small. It was nearly effortless for them to blend into the seams of the community. Carlisle was exceptionally well-honored and respected. He was known for sacrificing his time and being devoted to his patients.

I asked her if she was ever jealous of his time away, or the passion for his career. She admitted to being victim of the mindset at first, but learned that the small hours he spent restoring humanity only led them closer to their eternity together.

We spent hours circling the small town and surrounding areas. She pointed out the high school, and I wondered if the family inside could hear us. I admired their cars and we continued to the police station, a strip mall of tiny shops, most of the neighborhoods, and a cut away for the highways.

There wasn't much to take in. It was dinky and forgotten about. Likely two reasons why the Cullen family were so enamored with the treasured spot.

She drove us down an exit and parked in a poorly aged, never kept cluster of parking spots. No one else distracted us. The rain gave no reason for any humans to be about.

"I'd like to hunt," she shut off the car. "Mind joining me?"

I could stand ground while she bit the heads off of bunnies and killed a Bambi or three. I wanted to get a glimpse of the famous Cullen lifestyle. "Sure."

I popped my hood up and slid out of the car alongside Esme. She was wrapped tightly in a trench coat, a furry hood protecting her. "I'm not nearly as fast as Edward, so you definitely have a fair shot against me."

I nodded, "I can't be the only one to think he's _too_ fast."

"You're not," she chuckled. "Jasper and Emmett get into fights with him for cheating all of the time."

The next few seconds, I felt a tingling sensation trail and seep into my muscles. It was like every inch of me was falling asleep, the sensation almost painful for a sharp second. Then it came - a burst of energy that made me gasp and blink a couple of times before looking back at Esme. She, on the other hand, was rubbing her hands together, anxious for their adventure. "Ready?"

This time when I nodded, it was so quickly that I did it twice, just to reassure myself that Esme could see it. She placed gentle, firm hands on my shoulders and gave me a reassuring look, "Don't be afraid explore on your own if you want to while I hunt. Jump on trees, fall from cliffs, roll off waterfalls- whatever. I've got a handle on things, okay?"

Both of us were a bullet through the air, a sudden flash of fuzzy air. Through the corridors and out the Mercedes, Esme and I laughed and filled our lungs with warm, wild forest air. I hoped onto a cliff, my legs feeling the freedom and expression Esme was so often blessed with in the open area. It amplified our immortality and buzzing spirits. Time passed by, minutes or hours, I couldn't be sure. Blades of grass were being sliced from my mostly bare legs. I was getting further and further away from civilization.

I eyed her elegance from afar. She was circling a family of elk at the riverbank. Her slim body cupped the base of a tree and she licked her rosy, plump lips. I cheered for her in the quiet breaths stuck in my cheeks. She was an experienced hunter — even if her prey were pathetic hoards of wildlife. She exuded life in her purge.

An elk looked up from its dinner and twitched his nostrils. He likely smelled the berry-sweet skin of his doom.

She punched a branch off the tree and smacked the bones in their spines and necks. I nearly laughed. The bodies collapsed where they were, not a single one left alive to run away. Her razor teeth shredded through the leather and milked the remnants of life from the largest male. Her bloody mouth smothered a kiss to its antler and she repeated the same dance with every corpse.

After the fourth body shell fell to her feet, she dragged their lifeless bodies into the river and watched each one drift off.

"Race me to the West? I smell another pack of deer."

We galloped through the forest. I watched from scarce tops of trees. She skipped and danced below. She enjoyed the heat of the run I bathed in the rain. She was divine in her exotic race to kill.

I noticed a change in the environment and slowed. I focused only on that feeling and inhaled sharply, sensing a large amount of pulsating anger and danger ahead. With a hand held forward, I froze alone in mid-air and yelled out her name. I ran as fast as I could to the wind that was carrying her scent, ignoring the grunt in my own lungs. My feet were in a frenzy, a stampede of two bulls, rushing forward and I cried out again. I kicked a tree down and jumped over it's annoying presence. I threw it's carcass into an open field, hitting her head on. Her name crawled out of the barrel of my throat. She fell back and I pounced for her. My hand tore her away from the soaked grass. The moment she was tucked into my arms, she was moaning.

Esme rubbed her head and frowned at me, "My goodness, what has gotten into you? That hurt."

But I was a statue and staring wide eyed at nothing. Esme's back straightened, "Isabella? W-What's wrong?" Again, I remained stone, searching desperately for whatever was trying to separate my shield from her. The only sign of life was my chest moving ever so slow. Esme tried seeing wherever my eyes were looking at. I knew she also saw nothing around but an old, marshy pond and nature. "Isabella?"

"Move!"

The warning wasn't even necessary, because the I crouched and threw Esme off of the ground and onto a cliff about twenty feet that overlooked the circled area we were in. Flickers of blue began appearing around Esme as my shield flickered in her direction with was much friction as possible. An animal was surging directly at me. I was filled with ice and fear; stumbling back on my behind and double taking as Esme cried out and threw a boulder. She was frozen then, no longer breathing and analyzed the situation around us. From the corner of my eye, I saw her falter back. A werewolf was growling into the setting sun.

She hauled herself off the cliff and dove directly in the middle of the open field. His fur snagged at the bushes but easily reflected them. I continued to stare, feeling helpless and angry. Esme pulled through the shock quicker and and was targeting the werewolf. She stood over the wild grass, fists clenched, and snarled. Venom dripped from her ferocious teeth, but they looked less terrifying when the beast bared his own.

"Esme!" I yelped and crawled to my feet. The woman looked behind and wiped the dirt from her brow, wincing at the strain in her silence.

The wolf's enormous shoulders rocked as he hunted forward, slowing his pace. A growl rippled through his meaty lips and I stood. His black eyes fell between the two of us.

"Paul, you've crossed our boundary line."

I gawked. Her naming the creature astounded me. He stalked forward and turned his head in my direction.

"She is a new member of our coven. We have broken no rules. She was already one of us when she arrived." Esme turned to eye me, and the uncertainty in her stance leaving a queasy sea in my stomach. "Usually Edward is with us to translate. It's difficult to communicate if you're not in human form."

The wolf surged forward, baring his salivating teeth inches from her neck. I gagged at the stench and Esme stopped breathing.

"Paul, do not do anything irrational. We were only going for a run."

His angry snout smacked her hand away.

"There is no reason for violence. Please, calm down and talk to us. That way I can introduce you to Isabella."

My back arched and I growled, "Don't touch her again, mutt."

He sneered and his drool dripped in gooey chunks from his frothing snarls. Esme staggered back, and the movement scared the wold, who immediately threw himself and sunk a vicious bite into her hand. Her cry erupted in the sky, where flocks of birds scattered in fright. I staggered back in shock. She lifted her other elbow and crammed into his snout several times before he released her. Her freed knuckles were dislocated and dented.

Venom dripped from my lips and I pushed myself further into the plain. Esme fell back and I stalked forward until his wet nose smeared against the raincoat. The smell was unbelievable, and I trapped the fit of coughing inside my disgusted lungs. His shaggy, russet fur was knotted in broken twigs and I circled my hand around his grand mouth to act as a muzzle.

"I fucking warned you."

He shook off my grip and sliced a front paw into my torso. It stung and I fell into Esme's embrace.

"Paul," Esme hissed. "Go back home. Now. I will not lay a hand on a child."

He barked several short snips out and blew a dewy, snotty breath from his flared nostrils. His temper was burning high. There was no way he was going to let us go without a fight. An ounce of venom exposed itself in the mixture of the rain as I snarled again. He made the first move and aimed for my neck, piling on top of me in a fit of frenzy. I choked and scrunched my neck tight. He snapped at my face and bite hard at the crook of my ear.

Esme cried and threw him off of me, "Isabella, we have to run!"

"We can't!" I shoved her back. My confidence faltered as I watched her heart break.

She knew I was right.

She hated that I was right.

"He's only a boy..." she sobbed.

The beast slammed into Esme and bit hard into her skull. A blistering crack from her bones sounded like the trees I had destroyed. With every bit of energy I could muster, I catapulted myself against commotion. He reamed his front claws deep into her face and chest before slashing them in my direction. I screamed until my throat burned. His paw came directly for my face in hopes to crush me, too. And against my better judgement, I opened my mouth and chomped down hard. He whimpered, multiple tones curdling from his throat. I spat as much venom as I could until the wound was overflowing. He shook me off with an extreme amount of pressure.

I flew in the the ground and spun to regain my footing. I glanced at Esme the same time he did, and the second he was at her side, I was too. He tried for her head again, biting down enough pressure to bend steel. I threw three intense punches at his eye before he released her in agony. My hands were begging to tear off bits of his coat. My palms reached out and chucked him into a bed of rocks. His back leg snapped and he howled.

Esme was languid as she turned over in near tears. She wept loud and long, calling out my name. I shook in fear that the dog had done too much damage.

He slammed into me and we dragged into the earth. He bit my shoulder hard and played tug of war with my bones. My other hand splayed like a web over his face as I desperately tried to push him away. A foul _pop_ colored the air and I gagged at his drool spilling on my face as he proudly bared his teeth in victory. My arm dangled from its socket and I seethed. My legs flew in turmoil until he puked on my chest. I flung him off and tore off the vile, rotten coat. My arm way crying to be back in it's socket.

I was sick of playing games with him. He was not stronger than me and he meant nothing. My hand opened for him and I waved him to try me again.

As he launched, I swept forward and clutched the extra skin on the nape of his neck. He threw me off balance as he tossed relentlessly. I held tight and dragged him close. My legs stretched like a boa constrictor and shattered his ribs. I laughed at his humiliation, at the doomed cry he mingled into the storm. A crack of lightning and thunder hit at once. I bit a chunk of his ear off and licked the putrid blood up.

"She warned you, mongrel," I bent his spine until he shook violently and it snapped. His jaw hung like a broken screen door. My palms packed a satisfying crunch into his skull, playing out my immediate revenge for Esme. He fell limp in my embrace.

His defiled cadaver fell lifelessly into the puddles at our feet. I kicked him in bitter spite and walked to my friend. She was blinking away the fog in her dark eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," that much I did regret. I slowly peeled her from the wet grass and winced at her damage. She was alive, but languid and trying to heal. "But I promised to protect you."

Ever so carefully as to not put pressure on her fragile form, I rolled Esme up and scooped her in my arms.

My feet dug holes into the mud as I pounded our way into the forest with as much speed as I could muster. I imaged how much better Edward would have been with a quick escape, or Emmett with his brute strength, or as Carlisle with his flawless compromising skills.

Esme hiccuped and coughed a wad of venom on my shoulder. The cloth burned through and ate a blister into my skin. My arm pulled her tighter and I smacked as many branches away from her as I ran. Carlisle would not be happy with the outcome of our situation. I had already failed the family. I should have been more cautious and stayed by Esme's side. She twitched in my arms and I felt ill. Nausea was crippling my knees and I had to push away my selfish needs in order to keep us going.

Distracted, I gasped as we were about to slam into a tree. I rolled us and took the blow against my back as I narrowly hit it. Shards of bark and splinters of it's base threaded into my dress. I flinched at the feeling of the wood scrapping to my back. Esme cried as we hit the ground in tumbled violently into another giant tree. The sky cracked with thunder along with the tree. They dominoed in a row and cascaded from the depths of the sky and into the wet grass. I held Esme like a child, matching her hectic breathing with my own as our fear grew like a wild patch of poison ivy. We shook as the rain cried into our pores.

Wolves howled crisp threats into the evening. My spine crack under the pressure of our fear. I bounced back to my feet and adjusted Esme in my arms so that her shivers would not throw us off balance. The area was strange and unfamiliar, but I tried my best to stay hidden in the forest while peaking through the gaps to see road signs. I pulled at the strings of my memory from when Carlisle drove us home. I knew a few stretches of roads.

A squirrel screamed as I stepped on it and smeared its insides. I kicked the disgusting shoes off. They were already annihilated from the intense weather and our violence. My bare feet sunk in the mud and I flung is into the tree tops.

I could no longer hear the wolf pack. The salty beaches were a distant whisper of crashing waves and hollow gusts of wind. There was only the thunderstorm and Esme grounding me to reality. I hugged her tight as my eyes found purchase on a 'Welcome to Forks' sign carved from scraps of wood. It was dark from the storm but shining as our savior. My feet picked back up and I hooked Esme's limbs around my neck and waist. My legs perched like a singing flamingo and we set sail. My best was barely enough as we slammed from branch to branch. The gash in my stomach was nearly healed, but stung unbearably with the lingering stench and disease of the wolf.

Esme splattered more of her venom and dissolved chunks out of my dress. She was coming back to herself and hugging my tight. My will stayed strong despite my desperation to throw her off and wash away her poison. She carried a fierce burn in the potion inside her cheeks.

I crashed into a stash of pine needles. The rain stuck and knotted locks of our hair together. I patted her back when another fit of coughing fluttered from her butterfly lungs. I begged her wake up and took off running on the dirt again. We were close to the house. The sweet scent of each member was lingering me forward. A sucker punch of hope clogged my throat. A silent scream burned inside and I swallowed my cries. There was no reason to feel. I had to avoid being selfish for a while longer. Esme needed her family and I would find a way to save her.

We broke through a gathering of trees and staggered into a meadow. A stiff crack of thunder welcomed us.

I avoided the annoying buzz in my feet and continued onward. I recognized the clearing from our drive home. We were close enough that I saw the dim porch light signaling us home. My hand fisted a soping, bunched up corner of her shirt and I tugged. I cried her name and threw us forward. We were going to make it and the wolf would not catch us in time.

I launched us over a busted, dead log and my heels absorbed the terrible landing. They scrapped four meters into the soil and broke through tree roots and saplings. I teetered like a baby bird before regaining some balance and bolting the last mile home.

We hit a soft, mowed square of grass and I fell hard on my knees. The modern home watched us from the top of the hill. I crawled on my knees and collapsed into the driveway. Esme stayed on top and whooped venom into my burning flesh.

"Esme!"

She was out of my arms in an instant and I was grateful. Carlisle had her folded in his strong embrace. He cleaned the debris from her full cheeks and wiped off the wolf blood from her porcelain arms. She was blinking hard in return and fisted different sections of his sweater. They were gasping and stealing each other's breaths. He nuzzled her in vain.

I was ripped like Velcro from the cement and dragged into warmth.

"Bella," Edward clutched the sides of my filthy face. Our eyes met, and a mighty quiver in his jaw mimicked in my knees. "My god, what happened?"

"A wolf from their pack attacked us," Esme sobbed hard. Carlisle's usually handsome expression slipped in a dark place.

"Bring them inside," Alice screamed from the entryway. My feet ghosted while trying to take a step. Edward held tight and followed Carlisle while carrying me like a broken bird to my doom. The dry, warm house was foreign in comparison to our climatic time in the dark.

Emmett draped another set of blankets on the couch. Rosalie sat down and patted the seat beside her eagerly for her parents. Jasper and Alice rubbed my back and I flinched hard at the overwhelming amount of contact.

I scrambled out of Edward's arms and dropped to the floor. The terror overpowered the embarrassment of landing like a ditzy, newly born calf. "Leave me alone," I hissed at Edward's outstretched hand. He recoiled at my spew of hatred.

Esme cried, "She saved me. I can't believe how hateful the wolves have become. First Jasper, now this. He attacked me without warning. I would have been ripped to shreds if Isabella had not come at the right time."

Rosalie sucked in a harsh breath and I growled. My muddy footsteps imprinted in the hardwood. I backed away as everyone stared with mouths agap.

"Where is the pack member now?" Carlisle's tortured eyes casted between us.

"He's..."

I threw my arms out, "What's your obsession with keeping those mutts alive?! If I didn't tear it to shreds, he would have done the same to us."

Alice balked, "You killed a wolf?"

"I would have enjoyed seeing the life leave his eyes more if he were in his human form."

"They messed with our mom," Emmett stood and held a firm grip on his mother's shoulder. "And we all know for a fact that Esme did nothing wrong. He deserved to die."

"Death is never the best solution," Carlisle whispered.

"They seem to think so," Rosalie disagreed. "Fuck those animals! We are not the monsters this time around, even with this bitch here."

"She saved my life," Esme coughed and covered her spraying venom. She frowned at her daughter. "Isabella does not deserve any flack for her actions. She had no choice."

"Maybe if she used her shield like she's here for, Alice could have prevented this from happening!"

"Rose, stop blaming anyone for this."

The angelic blonde stood and paced, leaving a trail in the rug. "Unless we plan on dying some time soon this year, we need to come up with a better plan than this. We can't keep living the way we have been and expect to be safe. It's not working anymore."

"I agree," Emmett was rubbing her shoulders. "Pretending like everything is okay _isn't_ okay anymore."

"What do you think we should do?" Carlisle hugged his wife closer and directed his question at Jasper.

His ancient frown deepened. "We have to decide what our goal is."

"Our fucking plan was to get this freak here and use her to get the upper hand on the wolf pack. If she can't even be around humans and shield Alice, what good is she? She's a liability!"

"She is not!" Alice argued. "She is part of our family and you can't expect her to be in seven different places at once. If you can't be in her shoes, stop forcing her to walk for you."

"You're just defending her because this was all your idea. It failed, it didn't work. Great job, sis. It's been one day and she clearly hasn't made a difference. Congratulations of the achievement!"

"You're so bitter sometimes, Rose. Honestly, she just saved Esme's life and you can't show an ounce of gratitude?"

"Oh, silly me. How could I be so foolish?" Rose snapped and glared at me. "Thanks for almost getting our mother _killed_."

Edward growled, "Watch it."

"Why are you defending her? Because you two have some sick spark? Remember, she almost got you killed, too. She's a _sponge!_ "

Carlisle shot her a dirty look. "How entirely inappropriate. Isabella is family now, and we protect family. That's what she has done for us. Do not turn against each other because times are trying. It should be a greater reason to grow closer together."

Rosalie crossed her arms and shoved herself beside Esme. Emmett played with a lock of her curled hair.

Edward reached out for me again and I snarled. "I don't need your pity."

"Are you hurt?"

I wiped a clump of bark off the threads of my gown. I was furious with the aftermath of the wolf. Furious with the family for finding something so out of my control to argue about. There was no reason for them to care or defend the horrid beasts. Two members of their coven had fallen victim to fowl play from the other side. What more proof did they need to attack and rid them of their problem?

Anger steamed off the top layer of my skin and I spun around and stomped upstairs. Someone followed and I couldn't find the energy to kill them, too.

My muddy trail caked on the floor. I dipped up the stairwell and saw Edward from the corner of my vision as he pursued me. The family fell into a heated discussion about the our evening. It didn't surprise me that they sought out the trustworthy side of their adoptive mother, who was blacked out for half of the adventure. I was some convenience to the Cullen leeches. A utensil that happened to do one thing correctly in the mess of wrongs. I threw a fist at a picture of Rosalie that hung in the hallway and enjoyed that sad glass shards crumbling like granola to the floor.

"Bella, look at me."

I stopped and Edward slammed into me. His warm hands heated through my frozen, dripping outfit. I ground my teeth and was pretty sure they'd end up as dust if I was not careful.

"Are you hurt?"

I avoided his beautiful eyes and stared lasers into his chest. "Why does it matter to you? I'm immortal. Nothing can hurt me."

His withdrawn palm beckoned for me. "That's a terrible excuse. Please, let me help you."

"I don't need any help, especially from someone who thinks I'm a _freak_."

He reached out. Instead of acknowledging the offer, I raced down the hallway. My filthy hand swayed the doorknob and I unloaded into my room.

A gorgeous perfume layered in the corners of the walls. Sweet nectar and fresh cuts of greens flavored my nostrils and I stood like a scarecrow admits a field of flowers. A collection of bouquets were seated on tables and shelves. Everything was decorated with white roses.

Tremors inflamed beneath my bones and I tiptoed to the beautiful canopy bed. A single white rose laid on a pillow with a folded piece of paper. I felt guilty when I reached out and left a layer of dirty fingerprints.

 _Be safe._

The calligraphy was almost as naturally mesmerizing as the court of roses shoved in my hollow space. It mildly smelled like a bottle of home. My nasty foot rubbed on the other and I turned to look at the doorframe. Edward had his cautious gaze glued on me. Not even faltering to admire the works of art around us.

"What is all of this?"

"You said they were your favorite."

A sob grated hard against my laugh and my brain wasn't sure which to pick. I didn't know if my anger wanted to rip him into meaty chunks, or lather him in my gratitude to satisfy my curiosity. He shirt was stained from the spots I had soaked through him. I was surprisingly great at ruining his days.

"Edward," my dead heart ached to write a poem with his name.

He ventured towards me and ghosted each finger above the tiny bubbles of burns sprinkled on my shoulder. My mouth watered.

"Does it hurt?"

"Never better."

I picked the rose up from the pillow and pinched the stem. No one had ever gifted me flowers before. I didn't know if it was lame to clue him in on that terrible fact. It filled my grief with a topping of warm, frothy goodness.

"What happened?"

I shrugged and rubbed a petal deliberately. "Esme wanted me to join her while she hunted. We separated until I smelled something... _awful._ "

"Wolves were equipped to be like our natural enemy. They smell like wet dog and rotten sewers."

"Yeah... he had some kind of wretched odor that caught me off guard. I ran to it and found Esme. He attacked her, but luckily we... outnumbered him and got away."

Edward shook his head and pulled a hand through his hair. He tugged at the back and it made me breathless. "I'm sorry. I won't let that happen again."

A grimace soured on my features. "Edward, I doubt you know what's best for me at this point. I've fended for myself longer than you've been alive."

"But it doesn't have to be that way anymore."

I snorted and threw the rose back to the sheets. My feet were vulgar and the wood chips in my back were itching to come out. I plucked one out and chucked it across the room. I hated Edward for following me up those stairs and giving me that luxurious look.

I sighed and approached an overflowing vase. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

"Anything."

I landed a harsh smack to my shoulder and shoved it back into the socket. Edward scowled and shrugged his peacoat off, laying the carcass on the untouched bed.

"I was about to head outside and look for you guys. Carlisle was worried sick. Esme always keeps in contact. I just got home and I was surprised that you weren't around."

I brushed past the vase and made it over to the next bouquet that sat on the dresser. They were tight buds that had yet to bloom. "Should I be angry that you came into my room uninvited?"

He kicked his shoes off and climbed onto the bed. The rose was sleeping at his side. "I should be the angry one. You picked _Wuthering Heights_ out of every novel in the world to bring with you. Not a very... colorful option."

My mouth seeped with the sight of him lounged so perfectly, waiting in my bed. "I've read it in every language that it's been published. It's my guilty pleasure."

His square jaw tightened with the smirk he sported. I could only imagine what a savage looking devil I was in comparison to his overly perfect posture. He was work of art. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No," I shrugged. "What's it matter anyway? Time keeps moving and so do we."

"You are incredibly elusive."

"You are as well," I warned. "Your walls are just as high up."

He grabbed a pillow and buried his head into the cotton. I hated that I was jealous of a bundle of feathers. "You've proven to be an excellent climber."

I sucked in and chewed on my bottom lip. "I'm going to shower."

"I'll ask Alice to bring some new clothes," his glorious eyes dragged from up top and dipped like a waterfall across my outside. His stare lingered and a wimpy breath batted its wings from his tongue.

"And what are you going to do?" I gripped the hem of my sleeves.

His legs posed as he enjoyed my bed.

"I'll be waiting for you."

I ran into the bathroom and showered in a messy rush, doing my best to twist out the disgusting mess of twigs and mud. The drain was going to clog after this one. The steam was intense and I realized that the heat was at max, pouring all of it's effort into my uncaring skin. My head wavered at the carelessness and I slumped into the glass. Werewolves should have been executed centuries ago by the Volturi. Why Carlisle and his family were so bent on keeping their useless lives in tact was beyond me.

Someone was shuffling on the other side of the wall and I cut the water off. An navy nightgown with the sheen of floral pattern was draped on the door and I dressed myself. My wet feet stuck against the cold tile with each new step I took.

Edward was standing with his back to me, searching for something outside the window.

"You changed," I accused.

"I actually went hunting."

"Oh," I whispered. He spun around and the gold was ripe like a fresh lemon in the boundary of his irises.

"You were in there for a long time."

Strange, because I thought it had only been seconds.

"Long day, I guess."

We shared a weary smile and he plucked the strings on either side of the curtains. "I think that's enough of the world for tonight."

The fabric billowed shut and sealed our fate. He was breathtaking, even in lounge wear and sweats. His magnificence was personified with the leak of his smirk as he playfully jumped on the bed. The rose bounced and he laughed at it, stealing a bit of its aroma for himself before holding it out for me. Returning to meet my eyes, he beckoned me over was a lone finger curling in and out.

"It's okay. I don't bite," he curved around and lifted up slightly to tug the blankets over himself.

"I do." I gently stepped over and took the pale beauty from him.

"I know," he took advantage of my reach and pulled on my wrist. He leaned back into the headboard of my bed and rested a strong hand over my knee as I tumbled.

"Edward," I sat on the mattress, rose in my hands, his still on me.

"Yes?"

I twisted around and set the rose on the end table.

I approached the space between us as if would split apart and swallow me whole. "Um, what's your favorite color?"

He laughed, then pinched a bit of the nightgown. "Blue."

The bed smelled better with him, and I could feel his muscles melting. My core felt like an apple that he was biting out of. I was a stiff chunk with seeds and stem. Worthless, but the way he looked at me, the glow of his freshly hunted eyes and the dim lamps, was like I held the entire orchard inside.

I swallowed my pride and joined him, feeling antsy and unsure. He was judging me with a full belly and foggy mind. Not having to think seemed to be Edward's his favorite thing to think about. I traced idle patterns in the air. It was a time capsule between us. Nothing pushing us forward as we were stuck in the moment that wouldn't pass. His mouth made warm circles into the air, and I wondered what he was singing. Maybe it was just a hymn of silence. Trying for more luck, my arm reached out like a sunbeam to him and laid across his belly.

In our quiet, contorted embrace, I counted every rose he brought me. Each one tallied as a new reason for why I wanted my heart to beat again.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for being patient on this update. All of the incredibly kind reviews are so heartwarming. Thank you to all of my viewers. Please enjoy this angsty chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

Long stretches of time left dust in the peaks of my eyes, causing them to blur with every blink. I imagined peeling back the clouds like a dirty comforter to make the storm disappear. I went through counting the rain drops. Then counting my ribs. Counting the divots of paint strokes on the ceiling. The fingers on the tree branches that scratched the window. The breeze played with the wisps of the trees and I tapped the glass. The rain stopped when everyone had returned home and picked back up a minute ago.

Emmett ran home with his last eat video game. After dying excessively, he was wound up like a beagle and shouting profanities. He punched his gaming system, and Rosalie lectured him until every hair on his head was ready to fall out. They left shortly to find a replacement.

Alice had greeted me with a new outfit. An over-sized, heather gray turtleneck paired with modern bottoms. Fashion had evolved to be more enjoyable, and I was undeniably comfortable. She called them leggings, and most women owned them. She draped on top a camel-colored peacoat that went to my ankles.

Her overzealous blinking dotted the pitch of her giggles. I didn't have a chance to ask why it mattered when she warned me that her and Jasper were going to experience the city once Edward came home.

"Bella."

In the reflection of the scenery, I saw the overdue Adonis. He was painted in stale rain drops and joy, standing in the doorway with a fresh bouquet. My eyes wove around the room before finding a home in his own. The rolling clouds flooding outside swelled inside his irises, and I came to the odd realization that I'd never met a vampire with warm cheeks before. It might have been a beautiful sight if it didn't move my bones like wind chimes. They haunted my skeleton as I plucked two stems from the edge of the bookcase.

He gave me a look no one had before. Even if it was just a quiet glance that roamed as if he were using his fingertips. I felt every place his eyes went.

It made me wonder if I could look at someone that way.

A lock of hair swung against my wrist and I tugged it. "I don't think I can fit another in here."

Each day, Edward came back from school with a new surprise. After the first batch of roses came a box filled with novels. By day four, the lonely bookshelves were spilling at the edges. A crescendo of roses colored our shared sight. My room was like a hot May afternoon that bloomed despite the dusk of autumn. I drifted over and brushed my fingers through the enormous bundle of flowers. They were a ravishing dip dye of peach to cream.

"Only forty-two today?"

He leaned in and rested his forehead into mine. A buzz of seeds puckered into goose flesh like a constellation on my body. I was fortunate that the sweater hid my extraordinary response to his gentle gesture. My hand crawled up from the petals and I straightened his shirt collar. I tapped a song into his skin and rested it at the nape of his neck.

His crooked grin flashed. "You look exquisite."

I snorted and broke the intimacy with a quiet step back. "You think so? Do I play human well enough?"

"For a human? The eyes are a bit much," he walked the roses over to my cotton sheets and slipped a note beneath the stems. The itch to snatch and obsess over it tickled the rims of my teeth. I rubbed my jaw in a lame effort to release the tension.

"You can thank Alice. She, uh... gave me some contacts a couple of minutes ago. We thought it might be nice to play dress up all the way."

"Your venom is very potent," he took my hand. "They're already gone."

"I hadn't realized. But she thought I'd be a brown-eyed girl," I bit at the air. "A little doe."

He squeezed my palm. "I don't disagree."

"She left these..."

I dragged him along as I searched through the side table. Several pencils—which I found fascinating to sharpen, dull, break, then sharpen again—cluttered the pile. A metal gilded pair of gold, cat-eyed sunglasses stared back. I unfolded each leg with my teeth and shimmied them on with a final pinch. My ghostly hand left his to pose beneath my chin. "Just call me," I tapped the label seared into the band. "Channel."

"It's pronounced _Chanel_ ," he laughed. "You're a real modern gal now."

"And this is what teenage girls do? Dress up and flaunt around?"

"And go out on Friday nights," he scratched below his shoulder.

My eyebrows bounced. "Are you asking me?"

Edward leaned in and pulled me to his chest, and I swore I would either bite the life out of his throat or lather it with affection. My longing hunger was not sure which option was presenting itself better. His thumbs brushed up the sunglasses and traced the metal. "It's standard practice in my time to properly court a young lady."

"Is that what all of the flowers are for?" I teased him, my bottom lip tight beneath his heavy stare. "Thank you," I picked the dust and fibers from his shoulder. "They're beautiful. Again."

"Are you ready to go?"

"Go?" my heels twisted and I did my best to play casual and distract him. My back faced the bed and I found purchase in the note he hid with my flowers. I buried it deep in my coat pocket to save for later. "Are we joining them?"

"I'm saving you from an evening of shopping with Alice. I figured that maybe you'd enjoy something more private."

We sprinted down the hall together and skipped every other step down the stairs. Esme waved from the patio and Edward stole a kiss on her cheek. We rushed into the living room, with Edward trying to fight his way in first. Not like I had a fair chance as he tripped me and winked. The stereo system grew louder and Alice tapped on her watch from the plush love seat. Edward huffed.

"Oh, you guys match!" Alice rushed into her skirt pockets and clicked through her phone. It was pointed it at us. "Say _cheese_!"

My nose wrinkled like a dirty sock. "What?"

"It's an expression. It means to smile for the camera," she laughed. "I never thought I'd explain that to someone, but hey, there's a first for everything."

Edward nuzzled my ear, "Ignore her."

"What camera?"

Alice's painted fingernail ate into a square on the back of her thin phone. "This one."

"Mobile phones have excessive features," Edward explained. "Cameras are much better quality these days. All those pieces you see in that square can have it done in milliseconds."

"I'm not _that_ outdated," I slapped his thigh. "I've had my picture taken before."

"So let me get _my_ picture!" Alice pouted. I glared at Edward through hooded eyes and long lashes. He mimicked my pose and a flash struck in an instant. She yelped and pattered her shoes on the floor mat. "Perfect."

I carefully weaved around the set of tables clustered beautifully in the center of the seats and lounged in the couch cornered by the dazzling couple. Edward was less elegant, throwing himself into the open seat and bouncing hard beside me. Jasper chuckled as Esme screamed from outside for him to be more careful with her furniture. "This is her fourth couch in this place."

"Do you know this song, Isabella?" Alice quickly changed the topic.

I shook my head, "No?"

Alice bobbed her head back and forth. Her hair was glossy and wonderful with a white hairband hidden after her bangs. The lavender lace top cut off at her elbows and tucked into a flowy, midnight black skirt. "It's super popular right now. I like it. Jazz and I love making them into duets."

He clicked the television remote a few times. "Guilty as charged."

Edward rubbed his forehead. "You two are a headache."

Alice bumped shoulders with her husband and snapped along with the beat. Jasper sang to whatever the lyrics were and they went back and forth with sharing lines. Edward scooted over until our knees were touching. I did my best to hold back any stuttering breaths. A hand slid onto my knee. He drew circles and odd letters. Edward hunted in his pocket and presented me with a metal rectangle.

"Want to pick something out?"

He untangled a mess of white wires and two tiny buds went limp in his grasp. He offered me one and I watched, wondering what it was for. He popped the object in his ear with a tiny twist. I tried for myself and it fell into the crack between us. He hunted down and grazed my backside before wrangling it back and putting it in my right ear himself. He adjusted a lock of hair behind to clear the way.

The device lit and yawned to life. I eyed the words as he changed menus and brought a list into sight.

"There are a couple thousand on there. You just," he pretended to flick his fingertip across the screen. "Scroll through and tap the one you want."

"What is it?"

"Music."

"Oh," I smacked my forehead. "What's this called?"

"An iPod."

The metal was cold from his touch and I brought it close to my face. The songs were categorized in alphabetical order and I wondered if it was as easy to point and pick. I tested the theory by guiding my thumb across the first option. A gargled, screaming, electric guitar jolted into my eardrum. I choked on my venom and ripped the ear piece out. My cheeks squirmed and my palm suctioned to the now empty space. Edward's mouth hung and I saw Jasper hardly able to hold back a laugh between tight lips. I arched into the leather and Edward jerked the device back.

"You were about to crush it," he whined.

"Oh, man," Jasper snickered. "It's like... when you put headphones on a dog."

"Headphones," I mocked and brought the offensive object up to my pupil. I frowned and chewed on my lip. "Am I some dog to you?"

Edward groaned, "No. It's... a joke. If you put these on a pet, they usually get scared and run. They don't enjoy the sensation. Jasper was only kidding."

Alice smacked his arm, "You gotta be more sensitive."

"You tell the empath," he chuckled.

Edward leaned in and harvested the hand I planted to my head. He twisted his fingers with mine and blew a cool wisp of air into my earlobe. "Try again for me?"

I scowled. There was a freckle smaller than a pinhead on his fingertip and I wanted to smear it on my heart. He could have taken a chunk from my hair and asked to keep it and I would not have had the courage to refuse him. With the shrug, my arm knitted closer. I stayed still as he fastened the alabaster electronic back in. The letters fluttered up the screen and my curiosity bled through. I wondered what Edward's favorite song was, or what his guilty pleasures entailed.

Jealously ate and burned at me. Jasper and Alice probably knew the answers.

Edward typed and filtered the options. A very familiar piano serenaded us. A soft touch of keys carried on and sang out of no where, just as easy as he promised. It was a song that cuddled deep in the hammock of my heartstrings. It was an intimate piece in the story of my life. How he could have known that I spent a month in France with Claude and fell in a deep trance with the piano, I had no clue. My skin warmed when I saw Edward strumming onto me at the same pace as our music. My suspicion flared.

"Edward?" I whispered.

His soft, glorious hair tickled as he rested into me. "Bella?"

"You play piano," I accused. There was no mistaking the tone in his touch. He knew the piece almost as well as I.

"I do."

My brain fought to keep balanced and not blurt out how provocative the tiny insight into his life was.

"You hum this when you're alone," he admitted. "It's one of my favorites."

Alice and Jasper were enjoying their own moment with the radio, but I suddenly had to urge to lunge out of the living room and drag Edward with me and shake him like a coin bank to collect all of the bits and pieces of his brain. I wanted to sink a second bite over the first scar I gave him. The itch in my toes ached to curl them into his calf and play a symphony with his bones. He was still using me as his personal piano, but he could not have guessed the notes he was playing in me. Our eyes met and I hiked the sunglasses to my hairline. He kept pace with _Clair de Lune_. I took our conjoined hands for myself and playfully bit his knuckle. He stopped and hesitated. His hand was on top and I ripped a seam of the shield away from my mind to conjoin with him. His hold cramped and shoulders stood rigid.

 _An array of options taunted my nosiness. A rough tug nagged at the back of my skull and I knew Edward had already delved into his own choice inside my head. I was still unsure about the entirety of high school and Edward interacting with humans seemed like a silly concept. I picked his afternoon. My cheeks scrunched and an odor of sweat and mildew clogged my nostrils. Cheap cologne was being sprayed and I stopped breathing. Edward threw his clothes into a half tall, rusty red locker and ducked past the slim pickings of people. There was hardly a burn in him. Their blood held no grasp on his instincts. A poster near the exit read 'Explore your mind' with a kitten chasing a ball of yarn. A dated and unusual pick for a men's locker room._

 _"Cullen!"_

 _I filtered a hand through—or Edward was—through the wisps of chestnut hair. He turned and feigned a face of happiness. "Yes?"_

 _"You put any more thought into joining track?"_

 _"Uh," his hand died and tucked neatly into his jean pocket. "I don't think I can this year. Maybe next."_

 _"We could really use you."_

 _He was irritated, but hid the flex in his jaw. "Sorry. I have a couple of things going on."_

 _"No problem," he signed. He was pale with baby blue eyes. "Catch you later?"_

 _He nodded and exhaled when the double doors spread like split bread. Bodies rushed like ants in the rain, desperately trying to find shelter. I was in awe of the amount of people who constantly surrounded Edward. How they all were well enough trained to cope with the bloodlust, and to an another worldly extent, left soured venom on my tongue._

"When was that?"

Too soon, our bubbled sprinkled into nothingness. My eyes stung, seeping back into reality with the coo of his voice and I blinked hard. Edward was staring.

"Huh?"

The music in my ear was covered in some new genre. I lugged the earbud our and handed it over. He toyed with the flimsy plastic. "Your garden. When was that?"

"I... I've built it up for the last six-hundred and some years. I don't know which part you were seeing."

"You were digging and setting up a statue that you carved. Of a lion."

"Oh!" I patted his knee. "That was in 1734. I came back from a trip to Africa where I met a coven who was training lions. It was fascinating... I never considered owning animals. Too much commitment. They made it seem so effortless. When I came home, I studied mammals for a decent time before sculpting him. His name is Cyrus."

"You named a sculpture?" Jasper raised a brow. "I can't image you doing something so..."

Alice smacked his elbow. "Don't even finish that."

I shrugged. "Maybe it seems silly-"

" _Domestic_ ," Jasper corrected.

"I take immense pleasure in expanding my garden. Every sculpture and fountain is my own creation. It's another way to pass the time."

"Amazing," Edward smiled.

"Are you ready to go?"

One by one, each of us stood and made a line behind Alice as she took a course of detours to make sure everything was stuff and packed into her purse. For a few hours of shopping in a nearby town, she was packing as if it were a move across the country. She asked Jasper for the eighth time if he had his platinum membership credit card to some store or another, and he picked her up and swung her over his shoulder. Edward poked at her ankles like a mosquito and picked on her for the choice of shoes she decided on. We went around the Volvo. Jasper clicked open the garage door and glared at us. "It's gonna be dark by the time we get there."

"Maybe we can see a movie!" Alice clapped. She pulled her phone out and tapped away.

"Anything you want, darling."

She giggled, "Port Angeles is the closest city to us that has anything worthwhile. It'll be a fun way to end the school week! It's been nearly two weeks since I've gone on a shopping spree."

"Was that enough time to recoup your bank account?" Edward hit his brother's shoulder.

He snorted. "Almost."

"If you go outside of _Bella Italiano,_ you'll find a decent spot to park."

"Finding good parking might just be the best part about marrying a psychic."

She smacked his arm, "Rude!"

"Sorry, darlin'," he chuckled. He opened her door and Alice buckled up with her giant purse rested in the back seat.

"Sunglasses after sunset," Alice winked from the passenger seat. "I like it."

"Where are we headed to first?" Jasper adjusted his shirt collar and nodded at her. Alice pointed west and tapped the air several times trying to find her words. She explained a few of the top stores on her list.

Jasper honked the horn several times and Alice's giggle egged it on.

* * *

The next evening, I swallowed my pride and made my way to the third floor and hunted for wherever the stereo was singing. My knock interrupted a guitar solo.

His virtuous eyes found a home within mine. His fingers were tapping into the door with the beat of the music. Every which direction, his hair had been pulled and left in a stack of handsome chaos.

"May I come in?"

He stepped aside.

The door closed and I took note that it was the first time I had visited his room. Every inch was iced in his lucious musk of pines and dry soap. A tower of shelves took up an entire wall. Hundreds of music records were like time punches that recorded times in history. A messy, unmade bed sat in the corner where two floor windows collided.

Before us was the modern, massive nylon speakers that towered high.

"You don't pick up your dirty socks," I noted.

"No," he agreed. "Bad habit."

"What else?" I breathed. He caught me off guard by clutching the shoulders of the coat and dragging it off.

"Hmm?"

His nose tickled the dip in my neck behind my ear. "What other bad habits do you have?"

"I don't like to wear my seatbelt."

I slipped around and broke his trace. My shoulder bounced, "What are those?"

My feet dragged to his gray desk. A cluster of notebooks and journals were wrapped up. I couldn't resist picking one up and looking back at him for permission.

"Um, for your sanity, you might not want to read those."

"Okay," I laughed. "One day?"

"Maybe."

"Like to be an enigma all the time?" I sat up straight on his messy bed.

He shrugged. "That's up to you."

"Trust me." I whispered before I could filter myself. "You're a mystery I'm trying to solve."

Edward distracted me as he grabbed my hand and dragged us out of his room. We tangled through the house and found ourselves in a room I had yet seen. A bountiful collage of pictures teamed the walls, all looking at the centerpiece. A grand piano waited before us, flush and beautiful against the hardwood floors and family portraits. Edward was scratching off more seconds to avoid the inevitable.

"Have Rosalie and Emmett been to Africa before?" I pointed at an enormous framed photograph of the sparkling couple, dressed in a luxurious set of exotic outfits that did nothing to shadow them from a looming dessert sky. Dunes of sand made her golden hair stand out like a heap of treasure.

He nodded, "On one of their honeymoons. I think it was a decade ago, They go on the most vacations. Alice and Jasper are planning to go to Mexico next year to celebrate their anniversary."

"I'm guessing there's a giant shopping center near their resort?"

He chuckled. "Would you expect any different?"

"No," I agreed. "What about Carlisle and Esmee? Do they go on exotic adventures a lot?"

Edward put his hand in mine and my ears grew warm. I was sure he did it on purpose for his own ego. "They go places, if that's what you're asking. Recently Carlisle's been more focused on hospitals to be taking a longer vacation. He usually makes up for times like this by buying her a house or island and letting her design anything she'd like."

My jaw swung open like a screen door in a hurricane. "An island?"

"She has a few." The way he said it so nonchalantly would put panic in ordinary people. It certainly did to me. "I would like to do the same for you one day."

I snorted. "I already own one. Do you plan on seeing me head back any time soon?"

"I'm a selfish creature. That's a very tempting offer if I can come along."

"Sure, yeah," I nodded. "Me, boring and moody. You, trying to relax and sparkle in the sun."

"You'd never be boring," he clarified. "Never to me."

We traded our usual stances. I was the one behind Edward, fingers eating his shoulders while he sat and exhaled. My nerves rattled between each rib and I waited for the last millimeter of life to die between him and the keys. Our reflections stared back from the piano and he smiled. I nodded. He grazed over the keys without applying any pressure and looked down.

"For you," he promised.

He started slow and brought us back to the hour in the Volvo. His focus enveloped and sealed only for me. I mapped out sadistic plans about how to keep the rest of Edward only for my selfish needs. To steal his time and fuel my lust and blend him like a smear of paint in my lungs. Or even better, take him whole so he could only take breaths that spoke my name or described my face. I ached to know what it was that Edward was hiding from me. The music he created from the knock of the piano filled my belly with a lump of warm coal. It was sincere, lovely, and tantalizing. All the things I already held for him. He was entirely genuine and mesmerizing as he played. My knees were hitting his back and I spun around the join him on the stool. He opened his eyes, hands still hard at work, and mimicked my serene grin.

The calm he brought me was better than isolation. I didn't have the urge to run when his eyes melted into mine. He was my wick and I, his wax. His delicate fingers moved over the ivory keys of the grand piano agilely like a young bird's wings. Peacefulness and enjoyment were visible on his relaxed face as he continued to coax a hauntingly beautiful melody from the instrument. The mixture of absentmindedness and concentration he showed entranced my heart strings. I wished to play as well as he did. Or enjoy life to the extent that he poured into his playing.

The keys tip-toed to a slow end. I blinked away the impure ideas that leaked into my stare on his hands. They were beyond traditionally handsome. My palms tingled with joy, thinking about how many times I had been lucky enough to hold his.

I wanted to pickle his heart in my knees and pray every day.

"That's a terrible thing to have kept from me," I rubbed the corner of the bench. "I could have forced you to play earlier."

He kept silent and brushed down my left eyebrow, resting his thumb on my temple. The chill of the piano followed with his touch. My cheek fell into him and I wanted so badly to read his mind. To let him say what he needed to.

Yet, Edward was not happy. He was tracing lines with longing eyes. The ambiance of his performance drifted away. He did not enjoy my touch or return the favor. A sour frown on his behalf confiscated the mood. I could see myself in the glimmer of his pupils. My bloodhound eyes sunk deep into my dry cheeks. My tongue curled like a whip, caged inside my raw, burning gums.

"What is it?"

"What are you thinking?"

A frown fell like dead leaves from the desperate fingers of twigs. "What's it matter?"

"It matters to me."

"I'm overthinking, it doesn't mean anything," I lied. "Don't mistake an overflowing mind as the ocean. It's more often than not just a house flood."

He shook his head and capped it off with a slow exhale. He opened his mouth like a gaping fish several times and decided against each new moment. I was his ice queen, and his warm, treacherous tongue stuck to my chill. The piano sat dead at out fingers, tuned to the sound of silence.

"Bella, when was the last time you fed?"

My spine was a magnolia whose fibers burst under the accusation. My blood tensed. "Why?"

"Your eyes." The pad of his thumb massaged the sunken, inky craters underneath. "It's not healthy."

My fingers pinched a lock of his hair, then dropped into my lap. I swatted away his touch like a hovering fruitfly. "When I left home."

"Nine days."

The scowl etched on his lips was as if I smelled like thick glue and dead skin. Disgust.

"I know," I muttered from clenched teeth. He tried to grab my hand and I threw him off. It was not conversation I was willing to engage myself in with Edward. I stood abruptly tore away from his side like old wallpaper and aimed for the door.

"We could go out now." The offer left a bitter aftertaste on my buds. "Together. I would be with you."

"And what, Edward? Would you not think less of me if I took your neighbor and drained them with you watching?"

He flinched. I wanted to pluck the sternum from my chest and press it like a Popsicle stick against his tongue. To watch the twitch and admire the throb of his sad-swollen tonsils as they cracked under my sick breath. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what?" A growl reverberated and my nostrils flared. "The moment I find my prey, you won't think I'm worth the roses anymore."

" _Don't_." The stool groaned against the hardwood and he stalked my way. "Bella, don't."

I was sure that his empty threat could be held against my ear like a seashell, and this time I would hear the ocean.

"What do you want from me?" I pushed.

"I want you to take care of yourself. It has to be exhausting to shield everyone and starve. All I'm asking is for you to feed."

I crossed my arms and huffed. "Thanks for the concern."

"What is it about the worrying that offends you?"

"I can take care of myself." Maybe that's why I sucked at being one of them, I shrugged. Not that I really minded. Everyone did just fine if I was around, and managed to be the same when I wasn't. I liked it that way. I was content with being a shadow.

His brows sunk and he snatched my wrist. "I want to propose something."

I glared at his offending touch, at his confusing words. "As in?"

"You could try... what we hunt. You might realize that the change isn't even that noticeable."

I feigned a laugh, because I knew this was coming. The argument was inevitable. "If you think some grass-fed deer remotely compares to a singer, you're lying to yourself."

Edward dragged his hands through his copper locks and pulled. "Change isn't a bad thing."

"Yeah?" I threw my arms up. "Have I not changed _enough_ for you already?"

"The way you are is more than enough. All I'm asking is that you try."

I was fortunate that my body could not generate tears. The frustration would have leaked from the corners of my eyes and betrayed me. He made me feel like a child being scolded. In turn, I wanted to throw a tantrum and stomp on the floor. That would only end in more home to Edward, my bones were stale cocoons warmed by fungus on the forest floor. He was an angel preaching holy to the devil. "You mean you want to fix the glaring flaw you see about me so that I can be a perfect Cullen, too."

"You're part of the family no matter what."

I hated how composed he was. I wanted to shake him hard and force him to give me a reason to fight. I wanted him to provoke me senseless and give me a reason to rip his head off. If it were any other person, to which I was not sure what excluded him from that list, I would have killed them already. My temper was a stove top that ignited with the flicker of someone's touch. No one had the right to question my existence and lifestyle. No one had ever asked me to become a vegetarian before, not even Carlisle in our early encounters centuries ago. Edward left a smear of uncertainty in my wake that frustrated me. I was in control of my own life, even if I was part of their coven for the moment. My decency dampened and destroyed like a paper in the rain. It dissolved and I bared my teeth.

"You're so sweet," I mocked. "Who else is in on this? How long has this talk been planned out? You just happen to get close enough to me and make you the messenger?"

His jaw flexed. "You are reading into this too much."

"Yeah?" I broke away and marched beyond the elegant doorway. He had no idea the extent to which his question crossed the line. His perfection loomed high over my head and I was waiting for the anvil to drop. Every vampire in the House was dead silent and not breathing. Alice broke their trance and shuddered, and Edward mimicked it as he stayed on my heel. Carlisle slid out from a nearby room and blocked me in with Edward behind. I imagined taping them to the walls as if I were a black widow and letting each other their perfect, golden eyes pop out of their skulls like fat plums and sucking the dignity from their mighty thrones.

"Isabella, please calm down."

The fabric of the sweater was crying as my fists rolled the sleeves too hard. "I _am_ calm."

"We only ask that you listen."

Esme ran up the stairs and scurried to my side like a duckling. "Dear, we would never ask anything if it meant harming you."

My growl sung a nasty tune into muggy air.

Carlisle put both hands up in defense. "There is an enormous amount of risk involved in maintaining your lifestyle here. Media coverage for missing individuals is more prominent in America. The wolves are watching our every move. Word has spread about you being a new member in the coven. The chances of you getting hurt from all of this is more than we are willing to risk."

A set of strong arms boxed me in and hugged tightly around my waist. The normally mouthwatering aroma of Edward only upset me more. His lips rubbed at the circle of my ear, "Please."

"I can take care of myself. I haven't done anything to a human in your country."

"We can't let you starve when there's a better solution."

Esme climbed off the stairwell and joined her husband's side. "You trust Edward, and we want you to feel safe. I'm sorry if you feel set up. We can't imagine the strain it puts on you to shield us constantly."

My brain felt fuzzy under her accusation and Edward's hands rubbed my torso.

I stepped forward and his arms locked me stationary. The growl came back and I licked my lips, "Get your hands off of me."

In an instant Edward let go. Carlisle stepped in front of his mate.

"You are not alone. We want to help you."

"Help me?" I spat. "I'm cornered and being smothered with a problem that is none of your business. It's as if the color of my eyes is so offensive to you people that I'm some sort of monster. You and I," I pointed at Carlisle. "We are the same thing. Whether I choose to feed or not is none of your concern. These are my choices, and I am not someone else's responsibility."

Esme looped around, "You are wrong. You are my daughter and that means we love you enough to speak up. You are not getting special treatment. If Alice or Emmett were not staying healthy, they would be in your shoes right now."

"It's not the same," I argued.

"You're right, it's not. But your well-being is what's most important to us," Carlisle frowned. "You need to consider the consequences to your actions. In a family, your decisions affect more than yourself. You are no longer alone."

Every painting and picture hanging on the wall was looming over my head. The three of them had me from every side in the nook. My breathing picked up and I whimpered. Edward winced and instinctively came towards me, and I took advantage of the large gap and took off. I jumped over the railing and landed like a baby bird from its nest. On all fours, I pounced for my room and slammed the door behind. The lock clicked in defense and I was alone for a second in the small, barely private sanctuary.

Seeing the evidence of Edward suddenly layered rage into my vision. He was in the air with the overwhelming stench of flowers and it blistered my insides. The closest vase exploded the instant my hand cupped it. I seethed and threw the roses like arrows into the floor. The water ruined the coat sleeves. The heel of my boot drilled hard into the buds and scattered everything into a mess of petals. My heart faltered and second guessed my actions. But, knowing that I was questioning my instincts prowled an icy anger for betraying myself. The need to destroy something and search for any piece that was an extension of me was not satisfied. I claimed as many vases as possible and thrashed them into sparkling bits that smeared the walls and furniture. The floor looked like a dead wedding. My feet sought out any bud left full and alive. I wanted to reclaim the bits of me that were pacified.

My door shook with a disturbing warp. The flowers' seeping, sticky nectar glued to my clothes and clung bits of dust and guilt. A hard sob punched my nose and I spit venom at some cluster of stems.

The final vase was the largest from last Sunday, an insane bundle of pink roses that brought life to my hands. I didn't have the courage to murder them, and instead it slipped from my grip and bounced into the mess. I kicked the puddles. The door lock shattered with a sharp crack and I backed away. Edward and Emmett marched in as if on a mission to murder me. The venom gurgled from my throat and I bared my teeth as if to kill in their wake.

"Damn, this place is fucked!"

Esme screamed for Emmett to correct his language.

"Look, sis, you gotta chill out. No one is gonna hurt you."

I wheezed hard enough to elicit an ugly hiccup, "Get out!"

"Chill. We are just checking to make sure you don't do anything you'll regret."

My knees buckled and I crouched. My fingers curled hard. A flow of venom was oozing from my mouth excessively. I did not feel in control. Despite their wary looks and the holes burning in the floor from my draining, I did not feel powerful. The instincts I built up for hundreds of years were ugly and repulsive. Inside, I was trapped. Whatever part of myself that wanted to stop and let it go to maintain the peace was eons weaker. I inched towards Emmett and he blanched.

"Stop!"

Alice joined our commotion in a flash of ruffles. Her nightgown was on backwards and Jasper was milliseconds behind. Her eyes were about to fall out of their lids and burst. Edward's handsome face fell into a mask of confusion, then he cried as if a fire started in his back. He and Alice shook together.

"Emmett, you have to trust me. Let her be," she sobbed. "Don't touch her. It doesn't end well."

Emmett put himself against the furthest wall and I growled at them. I hated myself and the horrid noise and the uncomfortable situation. A thick skin over my heart peeled back and wanted to purr into Edward. To pull off the sheet of dread that soaked into his honey eyes. The look he sent my way was sickly. Alice took charge and pushed the others against the wall.

The crash snapped me away from Edward and I crouched. I soared into the bed and then at the open door.

"Bella—"

"It's _Isabella_!" I lurched. Edward stepped back and I pulled at my scalp. The venom was dripping down my chin and ached to sear into his hand. My jaw snapped hard like a bear trap, yearning like a spoiled babe to attach to his jugular.

The intoxicating, sporadic spectrum of emotions was giving me whiplash. I was hungry and scared, guilty and obsessed. I bounded for him, but a worse burst of strength shoved me aside. Emmett threw me against the wall and it cried with a gaping crack.

Alice reamed Edward against the wall when he came for me and was forlorn in her tiny cage. Whatever Alice was playing in her head drained the fight from his bones.

I watched his fingers slowly seep away from my direction and curl like a death moth to the wall. He mouthed a sad slur of words that I could not discern before I forcefully excused myself away from Emmett.

There was an opening in my crumpled area and I took the chance to surge pass through the home and escape. I somehow found the decency to open the front door before I fell into the night. The wet, damp sea of stars laughed at my tiny existence.

A sedan sped by with its headlights illuminating the shadowy road. I did not know which way to go and the thousands of trails overwhelmed me. I heard the curtains inside sway and I risked checking. Alice had a palm on the glass and her eyes had not relaxed. A hiss burned from my throat and I warped the shield out of their home. My legs enjoyed the leggings as I stretched far and they molded with the leap. Due north, I climbed the pine tree and bent branches to gain mightier swings.

An arm of a birch snapped and I slid as if being sucked into the claws of hell. My hands found leverage and spiked me back to the top. A crow squawked at my lack of grace. My grip reached out and I snatched the offending bird and held it into my chest, where he screamed and scratched his talons deep into the camel coat. A pop and roll if his neck later and he laid limp. I chucked his annoying corpse to the first floor and moved on. My chin froze in the harsh autumn air and the venom stung at the tall collar of my sweater. Ruining such a nice outfit almost felt bad, until I considered the mounds more Alice collected earlier.

The boots were unlucky against the harsh trees. The soft leather scratched hard and wrinkled. I stopped at the last tree in the forest that came before a river. A pack of deer were feeding behind a bed of rocks. Their scent picked up with the change in wind and I grimaced. Their blood was thick and pumping. The warmth behind their pulse did not call for my appetite. Instead, I fell to the mud and walked across the shallow water. It barely hooded my shins and kissed a damp seam across my pants. I washed the spit from my face until the smell of poison faded into minerals. My coat paid the price and I wiped my hands off. The water lurched as I left its embrace. The deer looked up and I ran away.

I fought to keep the image of Edward and his sadness out of my head. The way he looked at the end, where I nearly spat and bit his head off. His deep, longing eyes met mine when I closed my eyes and I reminded myself not to blink again. None of them deserved my anger. I never was in a position in my life where my emotions mattered. Humans fell victim to my tantrums. There wasn't the need to consider the consequences, Carlisle was right about that. My behavior was all of fear, none from their deserving. I chewed down vigorously on my lip.

Naturally, I was selfish. I would admit that even on my best days. I was selfish when it came to feeding, when it involved my privacy. When it involved the things I cared about.

His hurt expression poisoned my head. I stopped running and ripped a tree from the earth. It swung and hit the grass like a skipping stone.

There was something about Edward, about his crooked grin and the gold in his eyes, that ruined me from the first second. Lust was common. Lust and desire went well in the hands of being selfish. My overbearing devotion to being lonely kept any of those feelings away my entire existence. There was a male in South Africa that I killed decades ago when he had the unfortunate luck of following his bloodlust. Only one other man tried, and he was also torn and burned to a char. I did not handle well with the thought of someone staking their claim on me. People either stayed stagnant or repulsed me.

Edward held a new corner in my brain. Or room. Or dungeon that crawled a staircase down my neck into the deepest trenches of my dead heart. I knew I was wrong for hurting him. If he forgave me, I would make sure he didn't have to again. I enjoyed the idea of him playing piano just for me too much.

I don't know how we would function with our outstanding differences, but we would figure it out. As long as he let us.

An opening in the trees filtered the moon through and I climbed out. A broken cement street protruded. My teeth gnawed at the inside of my cheeks. I walked beside it and wondered how far I made it from the Cullen's. The moon had dipped back into the ground and the sun was beginning to crawl up. An old, rusty truck roared in the distance and was coming up from behind. I was grateful for the human outfit.

It honked and clunked to a stop beside me. I turned to face the open window. A severely average young man poked his head my way.

"Need a ride?"

I rolled my eyes and continued to walk.

"What a bitch," he scoffed. He didn't expect me to hear, but to his demise, my neck tensed. Ours eyes met and he cleared his throat. The engine started back up, but I jumped to the hood of his truck. He shouted in shock and honked. My fist slammed through the windshield and I wore a wicked smile the moment my hand found purchase in the pulse on his neck. He smelled too wonderful for how hungry I unfortunately was. I pulled him forward and slammed into the glass several times before he broke through and fell unconscious. I dragged his corpse into the woods and into the spot I stomped in just earlier.

He had brown eyes and freckles. I dusted the glass shrapnel from his bleeding face and slapped his pudgy cheek.

My teeth scissored into him like morning butter. I shivered so desperately that he convulsed. His tangy, muted flavor amplified with my hunger and I didn't mind for a moment how bland he was. He was a warm, angry meal that curved my weak muscles. He didn't put up a fight and at his final gush of blood on my tongue, I dragged him far into the woods. I heard a family of animals scurrying along and I shoved him into a beaver dam.

I crouched into the creek and washed all the evidence away. It swam into the shallow waters and died off. I was not full, and I had to fight the urge to go back and find a couple more snacks. The burn in my throat was barely sated. My jaw was stiff from the strain and I rolled it around like a set of marbles.

A tall pine in the distance called my name. My feet swept through the water and I set sail. The grass was dewy and stained weaves of green into the black boots. I rubbed them into the bark as I climbed my way up and sat on a branch that overlooked the land. I was almost childish, as if I were planning to swing from the perch.

A hoard of vibrations zipped against my thigh and I hissed. I thought maybe I sat on a bird or crushed a fish.

My fingers burrowed into the coat and I cupped my new gift. I pulled it to my face, but a lone piece of paper stuck and started to fly away from me. Panic hit hard and I hurled forward for it. The wind flapped at its free half, but my slender, agile fingers brought it back to my heart.

Edward's note.

The pain I caused him was almost enough to shun my curiosity. A small voice told me I wasn't allowed to read it anymore, but I coughed and cleared my throat to silence it.

 _Look after my heart, I've left it with you._

My nose searched for a familiar aftermarket of Edward, but the paper was not strong enough to still capture any. A warm tremor rubbed into my muscles. My guilt was more desperate now to die off and kiss his ankles for forgiveness.

The device fluttered again and I hid my prized possession into the safe keep of my pocket.

I smacked the screen and shook it. I yelled a command. It stayed black. My lips curled and I chewed my frustration into their stretch.

A new alert lit up the screen and I gasped, taking advantage and swiping up. A list of bubbles were crammed, alternating with paragraphs and small sentences. I tapped vigorously to reach the beginning and read Edward's messages. I hissed and shook it again. His picture was up top and I slammed it repeatedly.

Emmett would be having an enormous amount of laughs at my expense.

My teeth crashed like sticks of chalk, sending unfriendly rattles into my shoulders. I groaned in frustration. "How do I use this?!"

A rumble like crushed ice from the wind shook hard in the tree tops. Another new day in Forks woke up.

After emptying my lungs until they burned, I retraced my footsteps and followed the sun rise.

No birds screamed at my surge or energy. No wolves or squirrels cackled at my footing. It was miles of lush autumn leaves falling into my hair. Stretches of the same land now colored by the morning and welcoming me back into the arms of uncertainty and humiliation.

Maybe the crow had been right to laugh at me.

The gravel crunched under my slow approach to the house. The light was on over the patio and I leaned over to see. A shiver ran through my back and I slouched. They loving couple were sharing small talk. That meant I would have to make conversation with them and I hated to see them feeling guilty. Carlisle sat with Esme. Her focus was hard on me while I hung from the top of the willow. They were both enjoying the air and the mood and the nothingness of the moment. Time didn't matter, the sky was the only thing keeping track of their place.

My legs stretched out and slammed into the ground like two darts that stabbed the earth. I approached with fear and hesitation in my ankles, but I could not let the ugly head of my ego win.

The chilly wind was thick with the sun hidden in a dusty blanket of clouds. Her stunning hair was in soft waves that blew as an angry ocean.

"Hello, Isabella," Carlisle latched his outstretched hand with his wife's.

"That color is so lovely on you," Esme sighed. Her warm eyes purred over the coat. I went beyond the patio steps and greeted her with a light kiss on the cheek. Shock rimmed her lashes that she did her best to hide instantly.

"Good morning," I cleared my throat. "May we talk?"

Carlisle opened his gracious palm towards the empty seat. "Of course."

I slid into the metal braiding and playing with my fingernails. All I needed to tell myself was that I didn't want to be another Rosalie. My pride was not stronger than my will. "I'm sincerely sorry. Both of you have been more than welcoming since I've arrived. Your generosity helps me see things in a different light."

"We are used to raising teens," Esme chuckled. It was sweet and bubbling like a spring. "We have dealt with worse fights before."

"I'm a teenager?" I rubbed the tip of my nose and the middle between my brows. "I'm the oldest among us."

Carlisle chuckled. "You're one of our children, Isabella."

"Maybe, but," I sighed. "I'm not going to make excuses for myself. Im going to do my best to communicate."

"It went better than most of were expecting," Carlisle joked.

My shield soaked into the seams of the house and I heard Alice sing.

"If there is anything I can do to make up for the mess I've caused, please. Please let me know."

Carlisle leaned in to kiss her and she giggled again. "If you can get Edward back on his piano, that's all my heart needs. We are family. Family helps each other grow, not hold grudges."

"Progress is key," Carlisle agreed. The wind picked up and I smudged another kiss on Esme's temple and bowed.

"Thank you."

The simplicity in their expectations fascinated me endlessly. I understood why they all chose to use the term 'family' when prompted. Carlisle was an unconditionally caring man. His mate Esme was carved from the moon just for him. I could see it in the way their hands sunk and clicked together flawlessly.

Jasper and Emmett were in the living room fighting over some electronic device that displayed over the television. I hitched the patio doors open and pulled my shoes off on the mat.

"Isabella!"

My hand flew to my chest. Covered in flour and making a mess in bowls and eggs, Alice turned the radio up louder.

"Is that human food?" I grimaced.

Her sweet, pointed face hitched in joy. "Sure is. Esme and I are donating some meals to a homeless shelter in Seattle today."

The human food carried an unpleasant, thick aroma from the oven. My mouth dried like a hot pitcher of sand. Rosalie came down the stairs and slowed to a stop as our eyes met. Her unsatisfied scowl twisted her delicate features into a fierce mask. "Decide to come back already?"

"No reason to delay."

Her sharp, feline teeth exposed themselves under her feral frown. "So you leave, kill a human, and think you're welcomed back?"

I shrugged. "I doubt that decision is up to you."

She stomped hard and shook the floor. Picture frames chattered against the walls. "Jasper, _stop_ controlling me."

Alice snickered and Emmett smacked his shoulder. "It's your death, dude."

"You've crossed a line," Rosalie bunched her cheeks up. "If you don't start changing now, you're going to wind up getting us _all_ killed."

Her tone could have froze over Hell.

"For the record, if I somehow haven't made myself clear, I don't care how blinded everyone else. You're not the hero," she shook. "I can't wait to see you gone the minute we figure out how to keep the mutts away."

"Pleasure will be all mine," I promised. "And for the record, if I haven't made _myself_ clear, don't think your empty words carry any weight on my shoulders. You're wasting your breath."

"Enough," Alice smacked a wooden spoon and it's handle split against the counter. "We are a family."

Her back straightened like a church pew. Every lash framing her luscious eyes stretched like a cat's claws, branching away from her bugged eyes. Her sister bounded over and held her with Jasper. The family watched her and the pebbles in my shoes crunched under the strain.

Her mate flew to he side like a panicked fox, sniffing and exploring around to check on her sanity. "Are you having a vision?"

I looked into her quivering eyes — at what I thought moments before was excitement — was now a clear coating of horror.

"The wolves want to meet Isabella," she coughed.

The golden crowd of eyes melted into my spot. A gust of air squeezed tighter in our disjointed circle as Esme and Carlisle came inside. Esme kissed my shoulder and pet the tangles from my loose hair. Carlisle paced in the space between our division. Emmett jumped over the couch and brushed against his wife, who shoved him.

"When?"

Alice concentrated hard on the memory and I saw the pain gracing her brows.

"I don't know..."

Another flash of movement stirred and Edward jumped the last steps of the stairs and collided into our circle.

"In one week." Edward went to Carlisle, his insight adding pulp into my empty heart.

"How can you know that?" Alice's eyes traced whatever was going inside her head that carried into his. "There's nothing..."

"You saw us in her room," Edward sighed. "I have an order in for next weekend for that color of roses."

"Wow," Alice chewed on her lip like a wad of gum. "Yikes. Okay guys, everyone start coming up with a plan. So far, it's not going to go well."

Esme tightened her grip on me and I wanted to disappear inside the coffin of my guilt.

"I can-"

"No!" Alice choked. A dense rock climbed down her throat as she swallowed. "...no. I'm sorry for my tone. That's worse."

"How else am I supposed to protect her?"

"Uh, hello?" Emmett tucked his wife hard against his side. "Keep the rest of us non-crazies in the loop."

Carlisle nodded, "Some insight, please?"

Alice came around the fence of counters and sat on top like a fleeting butterfly. My knees rubbed together under the nerves and I did my best to not give in and meet Edward's stare. "Their new pack leader is coming to see Isabella. They want answers on Paul... they won't believe us that he attacked first, though."

"Which is why I should take her away-"

"That won't work, Edward!" her tiny fists slammed down. "If any of us run, they will follow. Take that decision out of your life. Now. Clear up my vision."

Carlisle cleared his throat, "I can meet them first. On the borderline. One of them will sense my presence and bring their leader."

"No," she trembled. "Next."

Esme swallowed herself into his side and her hair braided into his shoulder. "Maybe we could all go as a family? Would that work?"

"Yeah, I could go shirtless like they do and ask if they bought tickets to this gun show." He flexed and kissed his shoulders.

Rosalie smacked Emmett in his massive bicep and frowned deeper. "Doofus."

"What are you thinking?" her shoulders hunched like a panthers and she leaped from the concrete counter top. Edward brought himself to the middle of the huddle and I shied away. "I told you to _stop_ doing that."

"I won't let them hurt her," the muscles in Edward's throat grew taunt like snakes.

"You see it for yourself!" she pulled at her hair. "You _see_ them chasing you. You're the one who won't make it!"

"Then let me go alone," I broke the silence eating at my tongue. Everyone turned to glare at me like a ghost. "Then there's no risk for the rest of you. I can kill them all easily. They're mongrels, they should mean nothing to you all."

Edward was heaving. His jaw tightened and I knew I had ruined the perfect glass ornament Edward made me into in his mind. I cursed to myself and curled and scrunched my grown out hair.

Edward was not even at the point of considering. It was hard not to feel childish when the wolves held so much control in our lives. With the disgust in Edward's eyes, I cowered. What if he thought I was some sort of parasite? Or greedy and foolish?

"Bella."

That was always his first warning. My name.

"Edward."

I threw it back at him. The courage to fight flared up for the first time last week when we had this argument. I knew I was pushing his boundaries.

"No," Carlisle spoke up. "We will not put you in that situation."

"Is there any other way?" I shrugged. "What is the loss to your family? I am strong enough to take on wolves."

"Violence is not the answer."

I laughed, "It's their's. You either lose yourself, or lose them. That wolf who attacked her," I threw my finger like a knife at Esme. "Didn't ask me questions first. He didn't look at your wife and listen to her pleas. He was ready to kill, and you're... naive to believe any other solution is worth it."

Alice gasped.

"What are you thinking?"

Surprisingly enough, it was not Edward who posed the question. Alice walked over with a crook in her spine, seeing beyond me and yet only seeing me. Her tiny hands branched out like an octopus suctioning to her prey. Her neck curved like an ampersand. "Isabella, there it is. I see it. You know what to do."

"Great, yeah. Let her go alone," Edward spat, sarcasm vomiting from his lips.

Esme gasped first. "Edward Anthony!"

"No, it's fine," he threw an accusatory glare at Jasper and then Emmett. He finished at Carlisle, "Or how about Alice? Maybe Rose? Mom?"

"What's your problem?" Emmett barked. "We get it, Ed. Let it go. She's not going out alone. Getting upset isn't gonna help us right now. What is Alice seeing?"

Her cool palms still pressed hard into my cheeks and I lost myself in the reflection of her pupils. Her fingers pinched and I let go of my shield to present her with my mind. Edward stomped over and pulled Alice off, clamping his hands where her's left off and gripping my jaw harder. "Listen to me. You can't hide your decisions from me. I see in Alice's head, and that means I get a glimpse of yours. I'm not asking, Bella. I'm telling you. You are not. Going. Alone!"

"It works, though," Alice hit his shoulder and Esme came over to hold my elbow.

"Let go of her, Edward. You'll hurt her."

He pushed me back and I gawked, catching my fall instantly. My skin tingled hard where the air now replaced his touch. A wad of words cluttered in the back of my mouth and I chewed hard on them. Jasper was coursing waves into my shield and I fought them away. I tucked the security of my power deep inside as a last ditch effort to quiet the qualm.

"No," the pixie cried. "Edward, it's okay. It's going to be okay. See? Mom is right."

Esme nodded, "I can show Edward my memory. Isabella could somehow show them it too?"

"Can you?"

The radiant beaut made sure to bump my shoulder hard as I gaped. Knowing that he despised me for breathing and the fact that I occupied space was a failed comedy. My teeth latched to my gums, chewing away the hurt and pain of his words. I was not special. Most people hated me, and it would be exhausting to compose the list. Even Rosalie was a gnat eating my ear lobe.

Edward was different. My reasoning could not figure out why, but my joints ached for him. My heart knew.

His body went stiff. I watched Alice as she eyes shut like she was killing spiders between them. I considered that maybe her skin might rip apart.

"Carlisle," she whispered. "That... will work."

He let out a satisfied breath and nodded. Esme heated up a large grin that folded over her delicate features and they went to hug Alice. Jasper joined in, and they all began exchanging hugs. Carlisle explain that we would be heading out at sunset in seven days, directly over to the border that they drew up a century ago. A combination of Esme's plan mapped out the peaceful, albeit unstable and fragile treaty the Cullen's would work out to buy more time. I would have to wear contacts to appear like one of them. Rosalie threw me a look at that point, and I wished for the Earth to swallow me whole.

Edward fished his way out and pulled my silently up the stairs. No one follow us, and I thought that maybe they had not even heard us leave. The entire weekend coughed into my sight and I looked him over. The pale of him, the way his chest heaved, and his clementine veins drove me to a new level that I wasn't sure I wanted to go to. It was going to the edge of a cliff and wondering if the erratic sea below was worth it.

"Huh?" I looked up to meet his eyes. His voice was buzzing in my head.

"Listen to me. I'm not going to let it happen. I am going to find a way to get you out of here."

"Out of here?"

"Away from Forks. Something, anything. It doesn't matter anymore. There's too much risk keeping you here."

His words were a truck of cement that poured down my throat and filled my lungs. Could he be doing that to me, even after Alice told him not to? Was it that he found me to be disgusting after my hunt?

"Keeping me here..." I ghosted his words.

"You don't want this," he choked out. "I don't want to see it happen."

His rejection buried a corpse between my eyes. He was telling me to leave, and there was nothing I could do about it. Even with my shield tucked like a set of warm sheets around the family, I was still disgusting. He had the nerve to plant hope in my gut, growing it out of my mouth and to the moon, playing siren to my heart. He had the nerve to give me the storm to weather through and tell me my shield wasn't good enough for his family.

My mask was thrown on the floor. I didn't get the chance to taste his lips or to fix our lonely.

"Out of here..." I repeated again, grasping for anything to change his mind.

Edward gently guided me down the wide hall and caged me between him and my door.

It was enough to break me from the trace. Suddenly, he was the lightning and burning fires inside my core. I hated him, hated how he destroyed everything. He was disgusting.

"You know what? Fuck you. You don't even matter to me, don't think you're better than me."

I stood straight and pushed him back to the ground. I was tempted to spit on him while his face contorted and his elbows scraped against the opposite wall. He looked at me like I was hideous. Scrawny, dirty, and used.

I wanted to see the pain in his face, and held still for his response. I wanted something, anything at this point, to dignify what I said. I wanted validation that my words cut deep and that he deserved it.

Edward was silent, giving me nothing in return. His muscles tightened and eyes grew hazy.

"Okay."

Digging deep in my pocket, I shoved the wad of paper at his chest, aiming straight for his heart, where I hoped it would sink in and burn.

My hand crushed the door knob as I heaved it open, welcoming myself back into the dreadful mess. The bitter nectar of dead roses itched my nostrils.

"Bella, I—"

The wall quaked under my thunderous slam. The crunch of roses ate at the echoes of my steps and I sunk down.

Could I ever be a person to him? There were things I wasn't willing to admit about myself, and certainly not about him. He didn't look at me and see another person. Just a means to an end. Could I blame him? It's how I saw anyone, so what would make the way he looked at me be any different? People were supposed to matter, but I spent most of my life making sure that I did not.

My cheekbone kissed the floor. I laid my hips down around the warm corpses of roses. An ache stretched across my hands, nervous-twitching in an effort to not carve his face into the floorboards beside me. The skin on my chest was icy, and I wondered if I was stitched from the cold defeat of two wet, white flags crying in defeat.

He fit best as an open wound. His awkward string of words formed a rosary that tied hard around my wrists.

 _Weak_ felt wrong on me, but in the afterthought of his rejection, it was the only think I felt pretty in.


End file.
